Kids say the funniest things
You may be aware that in certain publications (crap ones mostly) there is a section called something along the lines of " Kids say the funniest things". If you are not familiar, these letters normally start off along the lines of "My 3 year old grandson comes out with the funniest things. The other day blah blah blah", usually ending with something that is utterly lame. To be honest I'm more familiar with the genre through the constant lampooning of it via the letters page in Viz. Anyway, I guarantee that my son has come up with the ultimate one that can never be beaten. Allow me to elaborate.
Over the years I have, like most people, visited many toilets. In homes, shops, offices, hotels, pubs etc let's face it, we've all sat on hundreds of them. More if you are a woman, unless you are one of those lazy blokes that likes to go for a sitting down wee. But we won't go into that. Anyway, every now and then I encounter something in a bathroom that I find vaguely disconcerting. What I am talking about is when you sit down to do your business and find yourself face to face with...yourself. Yes, the dreaded mirror on the back of the toilet door. Now I don't know how you feel about looking in mirrors at the best of times, but observing ones facial expressions while doing a plop is well, it's just not right. Though some people would probably enjoy it. Anyway, our bathroom in our hotel room takes this to a whole new level - it has wall to wall mirrors on both sides, which means you get one of those infinite regression reflections going back into infinity both in front and behind. So I can now see hundreds of myself in the bathroom.
I was not the only one to pick up on this - Ollie quickly observed this on coming into the room, "There are hundreds of Daddies! He quickly noticed that everything anybody did was repeated in all the reflections. This continued to be remarked upon until this morning he came out with the ultimate - which has created much mirth and hilarity all day. "Daddy - if you fart in the bathroom, do all the other Daddies fart as well?"
In case you are wondering how I am finding time to write all this, there are windows of opportunity. Right now it is 6:10pm on Monday evening and I am sat out on the patio, in the pleasant early evening - it is still light here - another advantage of coming away at this time of year as it long since got dark at home. And the other three are all asleep, worn out by another lively day at the pool.
Today we checked out the kids club - Ollie loves them. It runs for a couple of hours in the morning and a couple of hours in the afternoon. It is run by a lovely friendly Spanish girl and is free. A big open area with a sandpit,slides, etc and a huge play area where the walls are covered in black boards, white boards, there are chalks, crayons, paints, the lot. Only about other kids there, all about Ollie's age so he was quite happy to be left there for an hour or two. We had another few hours by the pool, did a bit of shopping and then chilled out in the room until now. Once they are all up and awake we are having dinner here tonight in the dreaded half board restaurant. Maybe it will be a bit better this time - breakfast this morning was better as they had some bacon this time - admittedly streaky and dripping with fat, but after last night's skinful it was most welcome. Plus some fried eggs and pancakes in the show cooking area - so we're not starving. However we did have to cut short our breakfast as Jamie decided to do a massive poo just as we were having our coffee - we knew he was doing it as he lifted one bottom cheek up off the chair and leaned over. Ollie clearly remembering past incidents decided to tell Jamie off with the classic line "Do not ever ever ever ever ever poo in a restaurant again", at which point we decided to vacate the premises as there was no way we could blame this one on the boiled eggs.
We are staying on site tonight so it's the kids disco again and a jug of sangria to go with it no doubt. I am getting lots of good pictures too so hopefully will be able to upload those into these blog entries when I get home. In case anyone who is reading is thinking that we are being rather boring staying in resort and not going off hiring a car, exploring the island and all of that well two reasons really - firstly that I've explored this island from top to tail before. And secondly, all of that is not really practical with young kids -they want to play in the pool and the kids club and all of that and don't want to be dragged off up mountains or on coaches or any of that all day. Another example of how things change when you have children - but I don't mind a bit. I did plenty of that in the past and doubtless will do again in the future - this holiday and all the others we will be having in at least the next decade will be all about them.
It's definitely a little chiller this evening, the famous Fuerteventura wind is getting up, it'll be dark in another half an hour (about 7pm) so I think I shall head inside and see if there is any sign of life from my exhausted troops. They need their energy - we've got a lot to work off later at the tots disco. Have had no contact with home since my arrival - but haven't needed to. I'm really getting the usage out of my tablet now - writing this, reading books on the kindle app, playing games - downloaded a few from the Google store before I left. There is wi-fi here, not in the room, just reception and the bar, so am checking emails and weather once a day - emails just in case a job comes in or a client from later in the year wants to get hold of me, but that it. Oh plus the football results of course.
It's later in the evening now, and we are just back from our evening out. The restaurant was a little better tonight, the show cooking area had roast pork and it was delicious. The chips were also most agreeable, of a McDonalds style, and not cold or soggy. Kids a little fractious but got through it, then we went to the bar for the kids entertainment. This was of the usual Thomas Cook fayre, a few games and some dancing. Ollie as always provided much entertainment, beginning with the musical statues, where he felt it necessary to instruct the entertainer, Craig, on the rules of the game. He then could not keep his head still and was blatantly fidgeting about, but when Craig asked him if he was moving he kept coming out with such humorous responses he let him stay in for the entertainment value - he was making the crowd laugh. For example after the first round Ollie claimed that it was OK that he had moved as he was feeling itchy. Eventually this blatant cheating could not go unpunished and he was told he was out to much upset - it seems Ollie wants to win every time, but I explained no-one can win at everything all the time - not even Daddy wins EVERY time, though I don't do too badly out of life, even if I do say so myself.
Later they played a game of hide and seek where all the children had to go and hide around the room, and here Ollie played a blinder - whilst all the other kids ran off to the other end of the room, Ollie seemed a bit lost, so I just said, "quick, get under here" and shoved him under the Bingo Table right at the front of the room and covered by a cloth. Craig found all the others first bar one, and he did realise where Ollie was but little Mr popular still won as Craig turned a blind eye and looked for the other girl first. Ollie had so impressed himself on everyone, they wanted him to win. Another example of how you make your own luck. As always the show rounded off with a dance to Cartoon Heroes, which Ollie is getting quite good at now after being somewhat bemused by it in the past. I don't think Jamie has quite grabbed the concept yet, but his time will come.
We don't have a plug for our bath - they don't give them due to the scarcity of water on the island, they prefer people to have showers, but after a rather traumatic attempt to shower both kids together when we got back I think we are going to have to obtain one!
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