Showing posts from February, 2014

Speeding up the evolution process

Recently I've extended the range of programmes on "JTV" (my own personal television channel) to incorporate some documentaries. It doesn't do any harm to broaden ones horizons in this way so I've been watching various travel, history and nature programmes. Among these have been the classic Attenborough series "Life On Earth" and those Wonders programmes by that bloke out of D:Ream, both of which deal with the subject of evolution. I've always found this a fascinating process. It's amazing how we've developed from the smallest amoeba to the complex organisms we are today, but the time-scales are amazing. Millions upon millions of generations. Some times it's quite hard to believe it's even true, but all the evidence is there - you're not going to get any anti-Darwinist religious rants from me on the subject, that's for sure. However, it came to me this week as I was lying in agony in the dentist's chair that evolution

Doctor Greed

Those of you that have been following me for a long time will be aware that I have developed a number of comedy characters, all ready for the sketch show I am going to get commissioned when I become famous. All of these are based in some degree on parodies of myself. There's Bloaticus, the genetic throwback to Roman times, gorging himself on chicken bones in Nando's and throwing the bones about. And Serial Drama Sid, popping up at completely inappropriate moments in Downton Abbey, such as telling Sybil to be quiet whilst she's screaming in childbirth because he's trying to watch the 3:30 at Ascot. To name but two. And today, I am delighted to introduce to you my brand new character, "Doctor Greed". I've already got a crime fighting superhero, "Captain Chubbchaser" (who doesn't actually fight crime, just tries to get off with large women), so I thought it was about time I introduced a supervillain. Doctor Greed is an amalgam of lots of t

The Copper Kitchen

We've been really spoiled for new restaurant openings in Bicester over the past few months. We've had several new chain outlets open in the new development, all of which I've enjoyed visiting, but nothing has excited me as much as hearing about the new independent offering, "The Copper Kitchen" which has recently opened up the top of Sheep Street opposite Denis and Shakil's. Unlike the other new openings, I wasn't aware of this one in advance. It opened quietly without a lot of fanfare a month or two back, but soon came to my attention as I began to read glowing comments about it on the Bicester Town Centre Chat page. I was keen to get down there and try it as soon as possible and so last night (Saturday 15th February) we booked in and headed up there to find out if it really was as good as everybody says. It was a three-pronged celebration last night. Firstly it was the day after Valentine's Day, secondly it was the day before my birthday and thir

Say It With Sausages!

So, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow and men all over the country will be buying flowers, chocolates and more to win the heart's of their loved ones, not to mention all the cards... But you're barking up the wrong tree there boys, because what every woman really needs to get her hands on this Valentine's Day is a great big helping of sausage! You probably think I'm being rude again (well who can blame you after the Diet Sex Club post - which I should re-iterate was a joke!) No, I'm not being dirty this time, I'm here to tell you the exciting news that my new book "The Sausage Man" was launched today. It's available right now for the Kindle and the paperback version will be following shortly. Here's the cover to whet your appetite! So what's this book all about? Well fans of my previous works won't be disappointed. It's in the same diary format as before. It contains a lot of reworked material that originally appear

Big Fish, Little Fish.

Here's something I have been pondering. Is it better to be a big fish in a small pond or a little fish in a big pond? Having experienced both in my long and illustrious (lol) career I feel I can answer this now with some degree of certainty. But to find out why, we need to cast our eyes back through the mists of time, all the way to 1989 when I was a fresh faced teenager with 3 A levels and no idea what to do with them. Despite having two firm offers of University places, I turned my back on them as I had had enough of education for the time being, and somehow it just didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. It may have seemed an illogical decision then but not one that I regret, My whole life has been based on taking risky decisions and gambles based on gut feelings and I've never been afraid to walk away from the obvious choice if I sensed it was not right for me. All of which has led me to the person I am today, doing what I am doing today. Could I have done thin