The Time Bubble

Every now and then, dear readers, I like to give YOU - yes that's you personally, something back as a reward for your dedication. And today is one of those days. You may be aware (and if you are not, where on earth have you been for the past two years?) that I have more than a passing interest in "ham". That is ham as in lovely mouth watering pink stuff made from a pig, not hamming it up like some third rate clone of Tony Blackburn in my Sunday night karaoke show at the White Hart, just to clarify. Now I have been experimenting again. I like experimenting ;-). In fact for the past few years I have tried all manner of ways of cooking ham in order to get that fresh from the deli, a quid a slice, perfect finish that you get when you have it sliced for you at Sainsbury's. I have all the gear, even the faithful old Andrew James slicer, which I swear by. And I don't mean expletives when I slice bits off my fingers after fancying a few slices late at night after a ...

I am pretty much at the cutting edge generally with technology. I was one of the first people in Bicester to get the internet back circa 1994 when most people thought it was only for sad geeks wanking over porn. I saw the potential back then! I was also the first person in Bicester to get an Andrew James meat slicer for my highly advanced and technological ham production line here at Baconham Villa. However - the one piece of technology that has always frustrated me is the mobile phone! Now I hardly use mine. At one time I used the excuse that as I was at home most of the time looking after the kids I did not need it. My laptop here is on 24/7 and I can do pretty much everything I need to do on it. My phone by comparison is cumbersome, incredibly fiddly to type with, I can hardly read anything I try to look at on the internet as the fonts are either so small as to need a microcope or don't fit on the page so I have to fiddle about trying to find what I want, also attempts to...