I don't want to go home, Daddy

I was awoken at 7am this morning by the sound of crying coming from the children's bedroom. It was Ollie, he was crying and saying he didn't want to go home. The thing is, I almost felt like crying myself. He wanted to know why we had to go, and I did my best to explain that we have to go back for work and school and that this has just been a holiday, and we have been very lucky to have had it - but it is very hard to console a little boy who has just spent two weeks in paradise. I lay down beside him and gave him a comforting hug, the kind to make you better that only a parent can give. Growing up he may be but I am acutely aware just how much he needs his Daddy to be there for him. I know him so well, all his fears, all his worries, what makes him happy and what makes him sad. I hope we never grow out of the hugs. I know I will always be there for both of them whether they are 5 or 15, or even 50 if I last that long!

I think in past generations it was very much a case of "Mother Stands For Comfort" to use a Kate Bush song title. It wasn't the done thing for a father to show affection for his son. Thankfully the world is a different place now which is just as well. I believe there is no greater love that a man can have than that he has for his children and I will never feel awkward, ashamed or embarassed to openly show my affection for my sons.

Ollie is also clued up enough to realise that we are going back to winter back home and he cried that it would be cold. There's also a growing realisation that he isn't going to see Vanessa or Genevieve again - or Jason, Lucy, Craig or any of the other wonderful friends he's met here. But at least I was able to offer the comfort that spring is round the corner at home, we will keep in touch through facebook - much though I malign it, it's great for this sort of thing, and I have promised we will return.

Ollie with Daura at the kids club.

Two weeks is a long time in a little boy's life but it flies by so quickly. I think we all feel sad when holidays come to an end - you never really get used to it, but I have got to say, this is probably the saddest I have ever felt - this has been the first time the children have been old enough for this to be a real family holiday now that they are both out of the baby stage. Sometimes the happier that I am - and we are, the sharper the tinges of sadness that come with it, thinking that it can't last forever and wanting to savour every little moment - even just the kids running around in the square and all the silly little things we all do together.

Outside our apartment

We simply must come back - on another Thomas Cook holiday soon? Why Thomas Cook - well it is entirely down to the entertainment team - quite simply no-one else comes near. When it was time to go, Jason and Lucy came out to say a final goodbye to us - it was sad for them too, especially Jason who has really formed a fantastic bond with Jamie, and I think he too had a tear in the eye as we waved goodbye from the coach. I'll need to find at least 3 grand before this time next year if we are to do it all again - but you know me, I will find a way, no price is too great to create the kind of memories we have been creating here.

And now we are on the plane. Ollie is still sad, Jamie seems fine but doesn't really understand. It didn't take much to offload our remaining euros in the airport, thanks to the absolute scandal of the no liquids rule - basically using the threat of terrorism for massive profiteering on the other side of the gate. Particularly with the likes of us who then have to find drinks to get us through the next several hours - of course the most overpriced things through there are the drinks, 3.05 euros and upwards just for a coke or any soft drink. No squash or milk either just to make it as difficult as possible. Even shrewd Bicester Blogger who buys his pick and mix from Tesco's when he goes to the cinema and gets his drinks for the swimming pool for the Hiper Dino can't get around this one.

Jason, Lucy, and the boys

Got a few more photos to stick in with this blog - for some reason the blogger app I have been using on holiday only seems to let me post one photo at a time - probably me being dumb and not figuring it out, but still, I reckon I have done pretty well with my blogging while away. 15 blogs - almost enough to fill a small book.

Vanessa and the boys

There is a good reason why I want to record all this in great deal - because otherwise, we, and the kids will forget things. It is unrealistic to expect Jamie to remember this holiday, but Ollie is at the age now where long term memories are being laid down. I know because I have a few memories of my holiday in Tenby in August 1975 when I was exactly the age Ollie is now - but that is all they are - hazy memories. Any photos, if they exist are in a dusty old drawer somewhere in my parents house. Through my photos and my blog I have got a permanent record - and Ollie in a few years time can read back through these blogs, and these pictures and remember the fantastic holiday we had in Fuerteventura, when his Daddy was his hero and taught him to swim.

We did eventually make it home despite the car conking out on the motorway inexplicably about 3 times - ended up on the hard shoulder but after re-starting it would go again for a bit. It was acting as if it was out of fuel but the needle showed a quarter of a tank. Limped off the motorway near Staines, filled the tank full and drove slowly on A roads home through Staines, Slough, Windsor, Wycombe, Thame etc - a long and worrying crawl wondering if we were going to make it and to top it all it was snowing. Got home just after 2am - as you can appreciate rather knackered today! But loads to do, so on we go...

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Jason xx