The Time Bubble

I can't believe it's barely 18 months since I published my first book on Amazon. I also can't believe how naive I was back then. In fact I almost cringe at the mistakes I made at rushing out that initial draft. I thought at the time that it was OK to paste together a set of blog entries and various other bits and pieces of writing I had knocking about, shove any old cover on it, don't bother proof-reading it and call it a book. Then try and market and sell it to family and friends without even thinking about the bigger picture. That the book sold at all was a minor miracle, but in fact it was relatively successful. However, the book's shortcomings were soon picked up on. I went back, cleaned it up, put a new cover on it, edited it into some sort of sensible format and put it back out there. That first book, Fortysomething Father has attracted more reviews than any other (well it has been out the longest), and is also the only one that has 1* and 2* reviews. ...

So, half-term is behind us and I find myself back at the keyboard raring to go with all manner of things to write about! I have a very exciting week in prospect, not least because it is the final of the British Sausage Awards on Wednesday which I am preparing for. Look out for another interview in the Oxford Mail. I have a photographer coming around at lunchtime to photograph Bicester Blogger in his natural habitat, along with of course, the now obligatory sausages! I'll just give you a quick round up of half term before we get into the meat of the blog, which isn't sausage related for a change! October half term is often a tricky one because of the weather and the kids can get cabin fever cooped up if it rains for too long. It's certainly not as easy as in the summer when they can play to their heart's content in the garden. There's something about being inside that seems to bring the monster out in them both and there's been a fair amount of rough 'n...

I have thought long and hard for a long time about whether to go public about this, and have decided the time has come to do so. In the end my hand was forced, as I'm simply not well enough to work nights at the pub at present and after covering it up for several weeks it was clear after last Sunday/ Monday that I could not continue as I am any longer. Effectively I was so exhausted after working on Sunday night that I had to spend the vast majority of Monday in bed and I have just had the worst week with this condition that I have ever had. And I have not been able to hide it as effectively as before as not only was Claire on a week holiday from work, but Lynda spent the whole week here too as they were working on a cake for a wedding that we attended today, so they witnessed me in a bad way first hand, all week. If you've been following me closely, you will see that I made mention in my book Fortysomething Father that I have a condition called Sleep Aponea which I men...

I may have to rename this blog and my twitter account Bicester Banger soon, such has been the huge response to my recent excursion to Shropshire in my newly found role of sausage taster. In the meantime, in an attempt to come up with an amusing title for this blog entry you can see that I've come up with Bangers 'n' Cash - this is in recognition that I was delighted today to receive my first offer of a paid interview for my story - I won't say who from or how much as that would be inappropriate, however, it's very pleasing for me that all the time I have invested into my writing career is finally beginning to come to fruition. Speaking of inappropriate things, I went all through the alphabet thinking of words that rhymed with "Mash" whilst looking for my blog title, which produced some amusing combinations! I shan't lower the tone but I have been trying to think of a title for my going around the world eating a sausage in every country TV idea, but...

"The best things in life are free - but you can save them for the birds and bees" So sang "M" on her 1979 hit single. Presumably she was talking about sex here, quite racy for 1979. But to be fair, whoever coined the phrase "There's no such thing as a free lunch" had it right. Let's be honest. Everything has a hidden cost. Since we were talking about sex, I may as well continue on that subject. As this is normally a "family blog" you might have to look away now if you are under, say 15. As you know I like to find mathematical solutions for explaining everything, and sex is no different. To prove my point that sex is not free, you do have to in fact be a parent, it kinds of falls down if you aren't but bear with me. I worked out that you can work out exactly how much sex has cost you if you are a parent, by following this simple formula. The first bit is easy. Write down how many kids you have got. Most people should be able to...

I have to say I am struggling for subjects to write about at the moment. Is it a case that we have only so much writing within us and then it is all exhausted? I think through my book and my blogs I must have covered almost every subject under the sun by now. Have you, my loyal readers got any subjects you'd like me to muse on? If so, send them over. Or any questions, problems, letters, send them to me and I will answer them on here. Yes, that's real letters, not ones made up for comic effect! I have a rare day off today so shall be heading off to Oxford shortly to do a bit of clothes shopping. There's lots of bits and pieces I can't get in Bicester but hopefully that is set to change shortly. It is only two weeks to go until the glorious opening of Sainsbury right here in our town centre. I would not go so far to say that this was the fulfilment of a lifetime dream in the same way as driving an F1 car would be, but even so, it's a big deal for me! This is my ...

I've been thinking a lot about writing recently, understandably, and I have come to the conclusion that the old adage "write about what you know" is definitely one to follow. Having published one book, clearly I am thinking about what my future writing possibilities are, if any. I have toyed with the idea of writing an original novel, or play, as I've previously mentioned, but just find myself absolutely devoid of inspiration when it comes to creating original, fictitious characters. It seems I can only write about what I know - and that is the real world. I guess the closest I have come to fiction is the mooted sketch show idea I had, as previously reported in the blog entry "The Jason Ayres Television Show", but even those outrageous characters had more than a hint of my own personality in them. So my sci-fi novel seems destined never to be written. So what will be written? Well a sequel to Fortysomething Father, almost certainly. That will be the ...

Every now and then, dear readers, I like to give YOU - yes that's you personally, something back as a reward for your dedication. And today is one of those days. You may be aware (and if you are not, where on earth have you been for the past two years?) that I have more than a passing interest in "ham". That is ham as in lovely mouth watering pink stuff made from a pig, not hamming it up like some third rate clone of Tony Blackburn in my Sunday night karaoke show at the White Hart, just to clarify. Now I have been experimenting again. I like experimenting ;-). In fact for the past few years I have tried all manner of ways of cooking ham in order to get that fresh from the deli, a quid a slice, perfect finish that you get when you have it sliced for you at Sainsbury's. I have all the gear, even the faithful old Andrew James slicer, which I swear by. And I don't mean expletives when I slice bits off my fingers after fancying a few slices late at night after a ...

Today I achieved a life-long ambition. Yes - something I have always wanted to do. I consumed an entire pack of Lidl's 300gm Crusti Croc Cheese Balls in one go!!! Now that is dedication!!! Yet another picture of cheese balls Oh - and I also just published my first ever book on Amazon! "Fortysomething Father" is a collection of all the best bits of my blog, various letters and a fair bit of new material that I have collated together to produce a book that follows me through a year in my life. It is not just a blatant cut and paste of the blog into book format. The whole thing has been completely re-written in order to create a narrative flow. Lots of things have been taken out, moved around, personal references removed, a lot of repetition removed (didn't realise how often I'd repeated myself). An enormous amount of time and effort has gone into getting it right. It also required a huge amount of proof-reading. I did not realise how many spelling...