The Time Bubble

Various news reports last week put the current rate of inflation at between 2.7% and 7%, depending on the criteria and timescales used. At the same time, interest rates rose to 1%, their highest level for some time. We are accustomed now to the idea that we are in a cost-of-living crisis, but just how bad is it? I would suggest, a lot worse than many people realise. The energy costs and fuel price rises have been well documented, and are way above the quoted rate of inflation. Surprisingly, when you think back to the fuel crisis of 2000, most people seem to have absorbed these without too much complaint. The Government has managed to divert attention from their misguided policies by apportioning blame to external factors.  A favourite scapegoat is Covid-19, but the virus itself was not to blame. It was the untold billions wasted on pointless measures in response that did the damage. If that won’t wash as an excuse anymore, then the convenient crisis in Ukraine makes a good substitu...

Come back, all is forgiven. Hello! I'm back! Did you miss me? What's that? You didn't even notice I'd gone? Charming... Actually I haven't been gone that long. Just over two months in fact, which is not a lot in the grand scheme of things. I went four years without a blog post at one point. So where have I been? Well, just here actually, working intensively on my latest novel, to the exclusion of all else, hence no blog posts. However, it is now finished and with the proof readers which means normal service can be resumed here. I did leave our old friend Gerald Mincen in charge of the blog whilst I was busy, with instructions to write a post every week. However, he seems to have only written one and then not bothered. I haven't actually seen him for a few weeks, as he mysteriously disappeared after going on a tour of a crisp factory in Leicester. It seems he signed in but never signed out. He was last seen leaning over a vat of hot oil, ready to fry...

Good evening! Gerald Mincen here. You may have heard of guest posts on blogs, well I'm delighted to be able to join you this evening. Unfortunately Jason is currently indisposed after a stressful few days. Having departed Facebook after finally admitting defeat in the thankless task that was attempting to administer the Bicester Town Centre Chat page, he was last seen seeking solace in the Wimpy nursing a mixed grill. I understand that an incident involving a pantomime dame that left him covered in lipstick didn't help either. In the meantime, it's up to me to fill in the gap. Those of you with long memories will remember me from the halcyon days of the "Campaign To Bring Back Old Flavours Of Crisps". I too disappeared from the social scene for a while in the noughties due to a nervous breakdown brought on by Walkers decision to discontinue Beef & Onion flavour, (not to mention an amorous misadventure in Steeple Claydon) but that's all in the past now....

It must be a good year or so since I last featured my friend, Laura, in my blog, so high time she got into the limelight once again. She always pretends to be embarrassed by it, but I think she secretly loves the fame. Anyway, as on previous occasions, it was a chance comment in a conversation between us that led to the inspiration for this blog entry. It was a fairly ordinary Tuesday morning in the streets of our small market town. I had dropped the kids off at school and gone for my usual early morning preamble around the supermarkets of Bicester. As always, I was in search of bargains, as befits my value-seeking persona in these austerity driven times. Therefore I was delighted to discover on perusing the crisps and snacks fixture (my favourite) in Poundland, that they had got some Marmite crisps back in stock. Here they are! Sainsbury sell these at £1.79 for a six pack. Poundland on the other hand offers an 8 pack. I'm sure I don't need to tell you that they cost ...

Here's something I have been pondering. Is it better to be a big fish in a small pond or a little fish in a big pond? Having experienced both in my long and illustrious (lol) career I feel I can answer this now with some degree of certainty. But to find out why, we need to cast our eyes back through the mists of time, all the way to 1989 when I was a fresh faced teenager with 3 A levels and no idea what to do with them. Despite having two firm offers of University places, I turned my back on them as I had had enough of education for the time being, and somehow it just didn't seem the right thing to do at the time. It may have seemed an illogical decision then but not one that I regret, My whole life has been based on taking risky decisions and gambles based on gut feelings and I've never been afraid to walk away from the obvious choice if I sensed it was not right for me. All of which has led me to the person I am today, doing what I am doing today. Could I have done thin...

My exploits with the sausage tasting have attracted considerable attention from the press. From Chat, to the Daily Star, to Pig & Poultry Marketing magazine, there's barely a publication in the land not desperate to get their hands on the story of the "The Sausage Man". So, unsurprisingly, I have started to receive a number of letters on the subject asking for various pork related advice. Due to the high volume of mail I've received, I can't possibly reply to them all due to my extremely busy lifestyle so I have decided to publish some of  them here in a sort of agony pig section. Here we go then: Dear "The Sausage Man". I read with interest the chapter in your book "Austerity Dad" where you claimed that eating a lot of bacon would increase your IQ. Since then I have been having it every day and in fact am planning to start an Open University degree in Business Studies in the Spring. Not bad for someone who left school with just one...

So - the long years of waiting are finally over. Wednesday 10th July shall go down in history as the first day of the rest of Bicester's life. And as your resident town blogger, I am delighted to be one of the first, if not the first to bring you the low-down on the new store, hot from the presses, barely an hour after it opened! Jamie Ayres, aged 2, of Bicester, welcomes  you to your new Sainsbury store   The glittering new flagship store of the great British Sainsbury flung opens its doors to a hungry and grateful populace at 9am this morning. In fact it was slightly before 9am, as I got there at 8:50am and it was already open. I had a quick chat with a guy from Radio Oxford who wanted to interview me and then I was through the doors, an awesome moment. Because of the store opening ahead of schedule I was sadly unable to fulfil my ambition of being the first person in the shop to buy something. My initial plan was to have grabbed a paper or something and headed stra...

Well I successfully "manicured" my own feet, so why not teeth? I've not had a great relationship with my teeth over the years. Seems very hard to maintain control over them. And by that, no I don't mean I can't stop them from eating (though there probably is an element of that), I mean that despite brushing faithfully I've had my fair share of problems. Some might point to excessive Strongbow swilling down the years as well as other acidic nasties from my teenage years (Wham bar anyone), but I shall conveniently sidestep any remarks along those lines. It was however during those teenage years that the problems did begin. Having never had any filling or repairs of any sort, one day aged about 14 I presented myself at the fearsome Dr Black's dental surgery in Oxford to be given some bad news. NB: Fearsome refers to the receptionist, aren't they all. After a few minutes perusal of the latest editions of Country Life and Homes and Gardens (fascinatin...

First blog entry of the month, and a month in which entries may be at a record low. We're now into the thick of the summer holidays and caring for, and entertaining the children whilst keeping the business running smoothly (some big and complex gigs coming up) is mopping up every available second. But we still find time to have fun. Amongst all the things there is to do I was determined we were going to have a good day out on Wednesday for the Teddy Bears Picnic. So worked extra hard around here on Tuesday to ensure that there would be no hold-ups on Wednesday - getting all the work done, ensuring there was sufficient bread/milk etc, and so off we headed to Garth Park on Wednesday morning. And what a fab time we had. The rain threatened frequently, but never more than a few drops, and we saw a lot of old friends and played with hula hoops, water sprayers, went on the swings. Both kids were stroppy at various points but no more than usual. Watch out here come some waterfalls...

Before I get on to the main blog, some happy news on the Snack Product front. One the of the great problems I have with crisp multipacks is that there is invariably at least one flavour of the product that nobody likes. This varies by product, so although some of us like Salt 'n' Vinegar crisps, none of us like Salt 'n' Vinegar Hula Hoops. So we always end up with 3 or 4 packets left over. Hint to any visitors: If you like Salt 'n' Vinegar Hula Hoops ask for a bag next time you are over - I have a few bags in the cupboard and they are in date. Anyway, much has been my disappointment in the past to see a much loved flavour of crisps in a multipack replaced by another e.g. BBQ beef Wotsits replaced by Flaming Hot. Yet, at last a flavour change has gone in my favour! I have always liked Wheat Crunchies, but not been keen on the Worcester Sauce flavour, which along with those below has traditionally made up the multipack. However, imagine my delight to disco...

It seems every site I go on these days is linking up to facebook. Now I only have to read a news story on Yahoo and it's telling everyone about it. Be afraid - be very afraid...where will it end? That naughty site you looked at while your girlfriend was down the shops? Before you know it, up in the news feed will be "Dogger Suddaby viewed 5 new profiles on UKSwingers.com". Anyway, one of the articles I read today was entitled "Superfoods you must eat" and was the usual predictable collection of various cereals, oils, fruits blah blah blah that some monks in some monastery or something swear by because they've lived to be 108 or something. The Daily Express is also a big fan of these types of stories - and every now and then comes up with some headline on the subject - presumably on a day when there's no sensational weather news to report. Oh look - here's one now: Basically it just says eat more Fruit and Veg - groundbreaking stuff! So -...

I've got one last holiday blog to do, then we are up to date. Should you find yourself down in Devon on holiday, another place you can visit is Combe Martin Wildlife and Dinosaur park. We had a half price voucher for this place which we had picked up somewhere on our travels so the whole family got in for under £20, which compared well to the £30+ we spent at the Big Sheep. However I was soon pissed off when I was handed a half price voucher for the Big Sheep with my receipt, apparently these things are everywhere, as are 2 for 1 offers for most theme parks these days. I am probably therefore the only person ever to pay full price to get into the Big Sheep. Which annoys me, because as you know I pride myself in seeking out value. More on value to come later on - so what about Combe Martin? Well it's not for the faint hearted - the hills, not only getting in and out in the car but also on the footpaths are horrendous - feels like about 1:2 in places. All the animals ar...

I thought tonight I would give you the run down on how my night's DJ'ing went. What was so special about tonight? Well some might say nothing - it's just another gig. However - as I am sure Duncan and Mike will agree there is no such thing as "just another gig" if there was, anyone could do it. And to the person who's party it is, or now was, it's a very special night! Now tonight's gig (or booking if Russ is reading - he says only real musicians have "gigs") was one of those "surprise ones". You all know the routine, everyone has to keep it a secret until they arrive then it's "surprise" the lights go up and we kick into one of the accepted tunes for whatever the event is - e.g. Stevie Wonder "Happy Birthday". Not that one tonight, as it was a silver wedding anniversary so we went with "Congratulations" by Cliff Richard followed by "Celebration" by Kool and The Kang. Apologies for put...