The Time Bubble

A rather offensive title, hope I don't get thrown off mumsnet's blogger network because of it. Why fat bastard? Has someone upset me? Am I fed up of Father Christmas already? Sorry Santa, I didn't mean you! No - it's neither of those. It just suddenly came to mind that you often here the phrase "Fat Bastard" bandied about. Well I have anyway. In fact quite often aimed in my direction. Quite unjustifiably of course. Anyway, it is rather an amusing phrase and only slightly offensive. More hardcore swearers will replace the Bastard with another word, and we all know which one to which I refer. But then it got me thinking. You never hear the phrase "Thin Bastard" or "Fat Nice Bloke". It seems as if being a bastard and being fat are somehow intrinsically linked. Perhaps one leads to the other, but which way around? It's a classic chicken and egg situation. If you are a complete bastard, can it lead to you getting fat? Well I can...