Home alone

I find myself in a most unusual situation this weekend.

For reasons that I needn't elaborate on, my wife and children are in York for the weekend and will not return until Sunday night. This leaves me in the rather unique position of being home alone - with nothing I "have" to do until I head off to DJ at a wedding tomorrow afternoon.

This is something that hasn't really happened before since the kids came along, and is unlikely to happen again any time in the forseeable future. Now some would see this as an opportunity to have some "me time" but myself I just don't know what to do with myself to be honest.

Why? Well - when you have the responsibility of parenting and running a house, your days are one long list of things to do - and they also have a defined structure working around the school runs and mealtimes. You become almost programmed into the routine. When that routine is suddenly ripped away, well, in my case I am a bit lost as to what to do.

It shouldn't really be like this as I had years, well decades even before I settled down and had kids - so I tried to picture how it used to be then. What did I used to do on a Friday night six or seven years ago before Claire and I got together?

Well - back then I used to go out EVERY Friday night without fail - and a good few other nights too. My usual routine on a Friday was to go to the Hob first - which was my local - meet up with a few friends, play pool - then sometimes wander into town and go to the White Hart for a bit - and then back to the hob perhaps before going over to Litten Tree (now Yates). Back then a lot of the pubs were not open as late as they are now, so after a certain time the only late options were a) Litten Tree - OK in those days b) The Angel - somewhat more sedate or c) G's - desperation. Whatever happened invariably the evening ended with a trip to the kebab shop and my standard order of a Donor, no sauce, no salad. In other words a great big pile of meat shoved in a pitta bread. And then home - which back then was up on Glory Farm.

This routine went on for years and years and years - though I have to say it doesn't seem that appealing now looking back. I guess though back then when I was a Monday to Friday office worker, the excitement of getting to the end of the working week, and casting off the chains made Friday night a time of freedom, and endless possibilities.

So how has today gone so far? I had an hour with Jo at lunchtime - normally we go to Nash's but this time we went to Maba - I felt like I needed a treat. That was the best hour of the day - so far. Now what to do with the others. I didn't plan this morning very well - originally I was to have coffee with Little Laura (one of the mum's from school) - but that got cancelled as one of her kids was ill - I had also hoped to squeeze in a coffee with Lynda but we couldn't get our timings right. Another mum friend, another Laura, also rang me to see if I fancied going out for lunch in Oxford with her and another mum but by then I had made other plans. I was trying to fit too many things in to too little time - so couldn't do that.

So here I am as teatime on Friday approaches. A time when on the other 51 weeks of this year I will be surrounded by children running around crazily as I begin to prepare their tea. Today - this responsibility does not exist. And with no-one to cook for I have no motivation to cook for myself. So I guess I am biding my time waiting for the various fast food eateries to open. Then later - no doubt I shall find myself invariably venturing out into Bicester's playground - most likely to the White Hart - but with a possible diversion first to the Hob or Bell as it is again known - just to see if it's changed since my last visit however many years ago that was. I don't want to go out too early. There's no karaoke on tonight anywhere so that's not an option.

I feel like I should be doing more with the weekend - or alternatively maybe I should be doing less. Is it an opportunity to have a rest and laze around here and do nothing? Or should I have seized the day and gone off to the races at Cheltenham or had a round of golf or something? I don't know really. I guess I am just killing time until I have to go to work which is still 24 hours away. I do know one thing - I'm lonely. So if you do see me out in a hostelry tonight looking a bit disorientated due to lack of recent practice - come up and say hello.

I've decided I am not going to arrange to meet anyone tonight - I am just going to go out and let randomness do it's work. It will either be a complete waste of time - no one out I know - or maybe it will be a pleasant surprise. I'm not entirely sure of the wisdom of going into the Hob. There is nothing more soul destroying or depressing than going into a pub where once you knew everyone but the passage of time has taken it's toll - there's no one there now that knows you or cares about you and it's full of new people all having a good time, but who knows, maybe I'll bump into an old friend I have not seen in years or something like that and it'll be great. Still - at least I know when I get back on home turf - i.e. the White Hart,  I won't be lonely.

As for now - well there are no chores or anything I have to to here so I can just potter around, listen to music, and do nothing really. Like I say, it feels weird, plus there's still this great empty chasm where the children normally would be. I guess the big decision is where am I going to get my tea? Wah Hong? Papillons? Kebab Shop?

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Jason x x