Three super foods for a healthy life
It seems every site I go on these days is linking up to facebook. Now I only have to read a news story on Yahoo and it's telling everyone about it.
Be afraid - be very afraid...where will it end? That naughty site you looked at while your girlfriend was down the shops? Before you know it, up in the news feed will be "Dogger Suddaby viewed 5 new profiles on UKSwingers.com".
Anyway, one of the articles I read today was entitled "Superfoods you must eat" and was the usual predictable collection of various cereals, oils, fruits blah blah blah that some monks in some monastery or something swear by because they've lived to be 108 or something. The Daily Express is also a big fan of these types of stories - and every now and then comes up with some headline on the subject - presumably on a day when there's no sensational weather news to report. Oh look - here's one now:
So - with just as much effort as is put into the average Daily Express leader, here's my three super foods for a long and happy life:
1) Kebabs
We are all well aware of the dangers of binge drinking - the Government tells us often enough. Any more than about half a pint a week it seems and we are all going to die horribly as our livers shrivel up. Among some of the suggestions I have seen for more sensible drinking are to mix and match with soft drinks (bollocks to that) and also eating food - now you are talking.
So next time you have a skinful - what you really need to do to help your liver, is to get something in there to soak it up. Go up to the Broken Fork and get yourself a nice big donor and get that down you. It'll soak up all that booze and you'll feel much better the next day. Until you go to the toilet, anyway.
2) Crisps
Did you know that a bag of crisps counts as one of your five a day - yes, it really does. They are made of potatoes are they not? And also - get this, a bag of crisps actually contains more vitamin C than an apple. That's fact, people. Look it up.
I personally eat 5 packets of crisps a day, therefore negating the need for any real fruit and vegetables whatsoever. Thank-you Gary.
3) Bacon
Did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals on the planet? Seriously, it's true. Don't be fooled by all that rolling around wallowing in the mud, let's face it, even the most intellectual of us have done that after a skinful. Seriosuly, after dolphins and those mice out of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, pigs are one of the most intelligent animals. And extensive research I am currently carrying out suggests that eating the flesh of these intelligent animals actually helps prevent Alzheimer's. Seriously, I've been wolfing this stuff down like it's going out of fashion for decades now and I'm still as sharp as a button. Come on let's have a bacon sarnie. Cheers - sorry I've forgotten your name, what was it again?
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
Jason xx
Be afraid - be very afraid...where will it end? That naughty site you looked at while your girlfriend was down the shops? Before you know it, up in the news feed will be "Dogger Suddaby viewed 5 new profiles on UKSwingers.com".
Anyway, one of the articles I read today was entitled "Superfoods you must eat" and was the usual predictable collection of various cereals, oils, fruits blah blah blah that some monks in some monastery or something swear by because they've lived to be 108 or something. The Daily Express is also a big fan of these types of stories - and every now and then comes up with some headline on the subject - presumably on a day when there's no sensational weather news to report. Oh look - here's one now:
| Basically it just says eat more Fruit and Veg - groundbreaking stuff! |
So - with just as much effort as is put into the average Daily Express leader, here's my three super foods for a long and happy life:
1) Kebabs
We are all well aware of the dangers of binge drinking - the Government tells us often enough. Any more than about half a pint a week it seems and we are all going to die horribly as our livers shrivel up. Among some of the suggestions I have seen for more sensible drinking are to mix and match with soft drinks (bollocks to that) and also eating food - now you are talking.
So next time you have a skinful - what you really need to do to help your liver, is to get something in there to soak it up. Go up to the Broken Fork and get yourself a nice big donor and get that down you. It'll soak up all that booze and you'll feel much better the next day. Until you go to the toilet, anyway.
2) Crisps
Did you know that a bag of crisps counts as one of your five a day - yes, it really does. They are made of potatoes are they not? And also - get this, a bag of crisps actually contains more vitamin C than an apple. That's fact, people. Look it up.
I personally eat 5 packets of crisps a day, therefore negating the need for any real fruit and vegetables whatsoever. Thank-you Gary.
3) Bacon
Did you know that pigs are one of the most intelligent animals on the planet? Seriously, it's true. Don't be fooled by all that rolling around wallowing in the mud, let's face it, even the most intellectual of us have done that after a skinful. Seriosuly, after dolphins and those mice out of Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, pigs are one of the most intelligent animals. And extensive research I am currently carrying out suggests that eating the flesh of these intelligent animals actually helps prevent Alzheimer's. Seriously, I've been wolfing this stuff down like it's going out of fashion for decades now and I'm still as sharp as a button. Come on let's have a bacon sarnie. Cheers - sorry I've forgotten your name, what was it again?
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
Jason xx
The super food for healthy life is given in the post here. Good post
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