Finding it hard to let go
This one of those rarest of entries from my parenting blog - one on a parenting issue. Yes, in-between trips to Paris, various hit and miss attempts at writing "humorous" blogs and all the other random ramblings are the two people who've come into my life within the last five years to whom I am totally dedicated - my sons. The vast majority of what I do on a day to day basis is based around them. When most of you see me, on a Sunday night, that's with my other "entertainer" hat on - if I may be allowed to refer to what I offer as entertainment without breaching the Trades Description Act.
Anyway, we find ourselves in somewhat of a quandary at present. With Jamie past his second birthday, for the first time in almost five years we find ourselves neither with, nor expecting a baby in the house. Now the jury is still out on whether we ought or not to extend the family. At the moment we are not sure - already my direct parenting responsibilities - i.e. until Jamie turns 18 will take me past my 58th birthday so any more will see me in my sixties. Of course I know it doesn't all stop when they turn 18, parenting is for life but you know what I mean. It does not matter to me as I have already had what I would call a very successful career back with Nielsen. I'm sure my esrtwhile colleagues, Dave and Dogger might question the use of the word "successful", but I consider that I was. I had achieved an awful lot before I even turned 25. But as you all know, by 35 I had tired, and turned my back on all that.
So it's not a problem from my point of view if I never have any sort of proper "career" again, I feel I have proved all I needed to prove in that area. Claire however is different. She is only 27, and her early twenties have been taken up by having babies. She now has the chance for a proper career - and wants to train in nursing - not really practical with more babies in tow. And I don't personally want one right now - I feel I need a couple of years to enjoy what we have. I would so love to have a daughter though.
I guess what I am saying is, yes more children are possible, but just "not yet" - if at all. I would say maybe there is a 50/50 chance of us having more children. But Claire won't get a career if I keep knocking her up every couple of years, so I guess the official line is that having more children is "on hold".
So - what all of this is leading up to, is what do we do with all the "stuff" we have accumulated that we will not be needing much longer. The list is endless. Cots, carry cots, pushchairs, high chairs, changing tables, stairgates, clothes, expensive toys, sterilisers, this is barely the start of it. All of this stuff is pretty much filling out every bit of storage space we have available.
The thing is - there's one part of me that's saying - we must keep all this stuff "in case" we have another baby. Another part says it's taking up too much space - get rid of it. But getting rid of it is tantamount to saying "right that's it we're not having any more children" and neither of us is ready, or even wants to say that, it just seems wrong to me.
And how to get rid of it? Chuck it? Sell it on one of those many facebook recycling pages for Bicester. Give it away to friends with babies? I am not averse to getting rid of my own stuff - having moved house several times both up and down the ladder it's been essential, but for some reason I just can't bear to part with any of this stuff, it's part of my family, part of my boys, my babies and I am just not ready to let go.
Sometimes it seems like they will never grow up and things will always stay the same - like on the Simpsons, but I know that it won't. Part of me wants to see them grow, and things to move on, but part of me doesn't. Life is just about as damn near perfect as it could be for me right now, and at approximately (hopefully) halfway through my life if I could freeze the moment and stay exactly where I am right now I would. Because I have never had it so good - and in some ways feel that it can never get any better.
I wouldn't change a single thing. Except possibly to have enough money to be able to buy this house - but that's just a material thing. My family is the most amazing thing in my life and my crowning achievement.
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
Jason xx
Anyway, we find ourselves in somewhat of a quandary at present. With Jamie past his second birthday, for the first time in almost five years we find ourselves neither with, nor expecting a baby in the house. Now the jury is still out on whether we ought or not to extend the family. At the moment we are not sure - already my direct parenting responsibilities - i.e. until Jamie turns 18 will take me past my 58th birthday so any more will see me in my sixties. Of course I know it doesn't all stop when they turn 18, parenting is for life but you know what I mean. It does not matter to me as I have already had what I would call a very successful career back with Nielsen. I'm sure my esrtwhile colleagues, Dave and Dogger might question the use of the word "successful", but I consider that I was. I had achieved an awful lot before I even turned 25. But as you all know, by 35 I had tired, and turned my back on all that.
So it's not a problem from my point of view if I never have any sort of proper "career" again, I feel I have proved all I needed to prove in that area. Claire however is different. She is only 27, and her early twenties have been taken up by having babies. She now has the chance for a proper career - and wants to train in nursing - not really practical with more babies in tow. And I don't personally want one right now - I feel I need a couple of years to enjoy what we have. I would so love to have a daughter though.
I guess what I am saying is, yes more children are possible, but just "not yet" - if at all. I would say maybe there is a 50/50 chance of us having more children. But Claire won't get a career if I keep knocking her up every couple of years, so I guess the official line is that having more children is "on hold".
So - what all of this is leading up to, is what do we do with all the "stuff" we have accumulated that we will not be needing much longer. The list is endless. Cots, carry cots, pushchairs, high chairs, changing tables, stairgates, clothes, expensive toys, sterilisers, this is barely the start of it. All of this stuff is pretty much filling out every bit of storage space we have available.
 |
| We've got loads of stuff like this. |
The thing is - there's one part of me that's saying - we must keep all this stuff "in case" we have another baby. Another part says it's taking up too much space - get rid of it. But getting rid of it is tantamount to saying "right that's it we're not having any more children" and neither of us is ready, or even wants to say that, it just seems wrong to me.
And how to get rid of it? Chuck it? Sell it on one of those many facebook recycling pages for Bicester. Give it away to friends with babies? I am not averse to getting rid of my own stuff - having moved house several times both up and down the ladder it's been essential, but for some reason I just can't bear to part with any of this stuff, it's part of my family, part of my boys, my babies and I am just not ready to let go.
Sometimes it seems like they will never grow up and things will always stay the same - like on the Simpsons, but I know that it won't. Part of me wants to see them grow, and things to move on, but part of me doesn't. Life is just about as damn near perfect as it could be for me right now, and at approximately (hopefully) halfway through my life if I could freeze the moment and stay exactly where I am right now I would. Because I have never had it so good - and in some ways feel that it can never get any better.
 |
| My family |
I wouldn't change a single thing. Except possibly to have enough money to be able to buy this house - but that's just a material thing. My family is the most amazing thing in my life and my crowning achievement.
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
Jason xx
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