Elementary, my dear wifey.

As you know, blog fans, I fancy myself as a bit of an amateur sleuth and no-one's above detection. Sherlock Ayres is on your case - be afraid - be very afraid.

As I say no-one is above investigation, even my own wife and I got her bang to rights today.

Now a small mystery has developed in Ayres Mansion of late. Having been suckered into the whole Gillette marketing strategy of having to have the latest and most innovative shaving system (price of blades increasing exponentially with each upgrade), I am currently the "proud" owner of a Gillette Fusion Power system.

If you thought Mach 3 was expensive, this baby really eats up the dough. It's about 14 quid for a pack of 4 blades which they claim last up to 13 weeks. Now mine never have - 8 weeks at best - but I put that down to being a rock hard alpha male with stubble to boot. PS: I don't mean by that kick me in the face, just for future reference.

Bloody expensive

Now lately I have been most disappointed with the performance, after a couple of weeks the blade has become all scratchy. This is not what I expect from a leading global manufacturer of men's grooming products. There must be another explanation.

Now my Sherlock tendencies along with my obsession for detail means I know where everything is in the house at all times. Everything has it's place. So when something moves - I know about it.

Now being aware of the Geography of the bathroom I am also aware of the location of the various items within it. Remember that old Pantene ad - "Take two bottles into the shower? No I only need one - now I just wash and go". Well sadly it seems that has never been the case in my life with any woman I've lived with,  the ad should have been more along the lines of "Take two bottles into the shower? Why, when I can take eight?"

An all too familiar scene, right guys?

To be fair to Claire she is very good on that score, compared to some, that picture above I just got off Google. I have managed to create as minimalist as possible a bathroom - largely by having a policy of chucking out any toiletry item with less than 10% remaining it. Because they never finish them! So for example, in the picture above, the two bottles at either end would go straight in the bin. Works for me. Now we just need to work on the shoes...

But I digress. My suspicions has already been aroused by the declining life span of my razors, I had also noted the lack of feminine items of that nature in the locality. But today - a major clue unfolded - whilst in the shower I reached for my razor in its usual place and lo and behold it was not there. I called Claire - and she brought it in - it had been left in the bedroom. Now I never leave or move anything without remembering, of course, so this was distinctly odd.

After my shower, I called Claire into the bedroom and asked her to remove her trousers. She thought her luck was in, obviously, but it was her legs I was interested in on this occasion rather than what lay within. Sure enough, on running my hands along them they were as smooth as a baby's bottom. Which is an expression by the way before anyone gets the wrong idea.

The game's up! So I asked her:

Jason: "A-ha - just as I thought - perfectly smooth legs"

Claire: "Why are you doing that?"

Jason: "No reason. Is it your payday tomorrow?"

Claire: "Yes, I'm going shopping"

Jason "Well perhaps you should consider purchasing a new razor, so you stop nicking mine"

Claire: "But I've got my own razor..."

Jason: "Where is it then?"

Claire: "ummmmmmmmmm"

Jason: "I rest my case"

Mine

Sorry Claire - anyway it was all said as light-hearted banter but I did rumble you! I know what to get your for Christmas now anyway, the best ladyshave money can buy.

Did get me wondering though, is using your fella's razor a trick all you girls get up to?

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Jason xx