The Time Bubble

This one of those rarest of entries from my parenting blog - one on a parenting issue. Yes, in-between trips to Paris, various hit and miss attempts at writing "humorous" blogs and all the other random ramblings are the two people who've come into my life within the last five years to whom I am totally dedicated - my sons. The vast majority of what I do on a day to day basis is based around them. When most of you see me, on a Sunday night, that's with my other "entertainer" hat on - if I may be allowed to refer to what I offer as entertainment without breaching the Trades Description Act. Anyway, we find ourselves in somewhat of a quandary at present. With Jamie past his second birthday, for the first time in almost five years we find ourselves neither with, nor expecting a baby in the house. Now the jury is still out on whether we ought or not to extend the family. At the moment we are not sure - already my direct parenting responsibilities - i.e. until J...

What is it with me and clothes, lately? Everything is wearing out, malfunctioning, etc. I am going to have to take a flying visit into Oxford tomorrow to get some things. I think in some cases (holes in socks etc) it is my own fault for buying cheap from Primark. So tomorrow I am going to go to M+S and buy some. I don't really like doing downstairs in M&S in Oxford, it's all drab grey and depressing - and that's just the clothes. Most of the customers are dressed in similar. Generally with M+S I'll stick to food, but I have to say, for socks they are your best bet, they'll last for years. I've always had a fondness for black canvas jeans. This goes back to my gothic days (yes believe it or not, I was one for a while in my teens). I used to buy these from Watsons in the Covered Market for £10.99 back in 1987. So I was quite pleased when I found out that Primark sold some very similar trousers for just £6, over 20 years later. But I have not had a huge am...

As you know, blog fans, I fancy myself as a bit of an amateur sleuth and no-one's above detection. Sherlock Ayres is on your case - be afraid - be very afraid. As I say no-one is above investigation, even my own wife and I got her bang to rights today. Now a small mystery has developed in Ayres Mansion of late. Having been suckered into the whole Gillette marketing strategy of having to have the latest and most innovative shaving system (price of blades increasing exponentially with each upgrade), I am currently the "proud" owner of a Gillette Fusion Power system. If you thought Mach 3 was expensive, this baby really eats up the dough. It's about 14 quid for a pack of 4 blades which they claim last up to 13 weeks. Now mine never have - 8 weeks at best - but I put that down to being a rock hard alpha male with stubble to boot. PS: I don't mean by that kick me in the face, just for future reference. Bloody expensive Now lately I have been most disappoi...

...and other places. So Day 3 in Paris. First stop of course, breakfast, and a hot chocolate unlike anything I have ever had before. For starters it was not really hot - it was more as if someone had melted a chocolate bar and put it in a cup - incredibly rich. Even me with my appetites found it daunting. And on to - The Louvre. Now this did not go well at all. You'll recall that there was a heatwave in Paris last week - similar to the weather we currently have in the UK. Now whoever designed this thing decided to create a big glass pyramid over the main entrance area where it is necessary to queue with thousands of other people for tickets. Crowds I can do. Heat I can do. The two combined - proved almost fatal. I felt so unwell that at one point I really did think that all the years of Strongbow, Fry-ups, Ham, Crisps etc had finally caught up with me. But no, I thought, the world cannot be denied of Bicester Blogger yet - there is still much to do! So finally we staggered in...

How I love the word which is the title of this blog entry - so much more romantic than "Meat". Like most of the French language to be fair. I can really see the appeal of living in France. My sister has a house there - surprisingly I have never been but there always seemed to be too many other things going on, either work or children related. Anyway - you've had the hors d'ouevre as to what we got up to on our first day in Paris, so now here is the rest. After a good night's sleep (not actually - my pillows kept sliding down the back of the bed) we headed off out for a days sightseeing, armed with an assortment of maps and guides and such like, looking like typical tourists no doubt. Nice little breakfast up at the square at the end of the street where Edgar Quinet Metro station was located (puerily nicknamed "Edgar Quim" by me on the first day). Got to say all the Croissants and bread we had in France were top notch - the Pain Au Chocolat were to die ...

Well, what are we to expect from a blog entry from me about my trip to Paris? A list of places we went, and things we saw, with pictures of landmarks, the sort of thing that everyone who has ever been to Paris has bored the life out of everyone they know since they got back with? (As suggested by the picture below). Can't be bothered to rotate it, so just imagine she's having a  little lie down. Or a wry off-the-wall look at the more amusing aspects of the trip, with a focus on Bicester Blogger's usual areas of interest such as food, drink and naughty stuff. Is that Bicester Blogger going in, or just a lookalike? I thought so. Right then - well let's get the logistics out of the way first. I don't go anywhere without doing my research first so was very happy to pay £420 for this trip which included Eurostar each way and 3 nights in the Lenox Montparnasse Hotel - chosen very carefully from research on Trip Advisor. #84 out of over 2000 in Paris ca...

Yes, that's right, I am considering a new career as a private dick. And yes I know what you are thinking, but no, I am not about to become a male prostitute. Not that it is not an attractive career option when one considers an ideal world scenario, i.e. a string of beautiful women paying hundreds of pounds to have sex with me in luxury hotels, however, the reality is likely to be somewhat different - £20 for a quick fumble down the alley opposite G's is more likely, and to be honest even that is an unlikely scenario. As any marketing person worth their salt will tell you, you cannot sell what people don't want to buy, and since I've spent most of my adult life (the single bits anyway) struggling to give it away, I think any fiscal renumeration is unlikely unless I have radical plastic surgery to make me look like Captain Jack. Or Peter Andre for one friend I shan't mention (I wonder if she reads this...?) That was rather a long explanation - but I thought it best ...

Well, that was that then. The "Once In A Lifetime" chance to see the Olympic flame, as it deigned to visit us here in humble Bicester. Blink and you miss it. I guess it was fun for the kids and an opportunity to hang out with a few friends in Sheep Street, but the trouble is with once in a lifetime experiences is they rarely live up to the hype. This was rather good fun though as I was with my bestie and we had a bit of a giggle. As we always do. Daryl was also there and kindly lifted Ollie up into his shoulders - he's much taller than me, so that got him a better view. I was holding Jamie up, but like most 1 year olds he was completely oblivious to what was going on or why. I imagine there are quite a lot of other "once in a lifetime" experiences one can have in life that may well possible disappoint. I imagine reaching the summit of Everest is great but then you've only got to climb all the way back down again so what's the point. Likewise, having ...

Before I get on to the main blog, some happy news on the Snack Product front. One the of the great problems I have with crisp multipacks is that there is invariably at least one flavour of the product that nobody likes. This varies by product, so although some of us like Salt 'n' Vinegar crisps, none of us like Salt 'n' Vinegar Hula Hoops. So we always end up with 3 or 4 packets left over. Hint to any visitors: If you like Salt 'n' Vinegar Hula Hoops ask for a bag next time you are over - I have a few bags in the cupboard and they are in date. Anyway, much has been my disappointment in the past to see a much loved flavour of crisps in a multipack replaced by another e.g. BBQ beef Wotsits replaced by Flaming Hot. Yet, at last a flavour change has gone in my favour! I have always liked Wheat Crunchies, but not been keen on the Worcester Sauce flavour, which along with those below has traditionally made up the multipack. However, imagine my delight to disco...

It seems every site I go on these days is linking up to facebook. Now I only have to read a news story on Yahoo and it's telling everyone about it. Be afraid - be very afraid...where will it end? That naughty site you looked at while your girlfriend was down the shops? Before you know it, up in the news feed will be "Dogger Suddaby viewed 5 new profiles on UKSwingers.com". Anyway, one of the articles I read today was entitled "Superfoods you must eat" and was the usual predictable collection of various cereals, oils, fruits blah blah blah that some monks in some monastery or something swear by because they've lived to be 108 or something. The Daily Express is also a big fan of these types of stories - and every now and then comes up with some headline on the subject - presumably on a day when there's no sensational weather news to report. Oh look - here's one now: Basically it just says eat more Fruit and Veg - groundbreaking stuff! So -...