Perfect Partner - try my questionnaire

The last time I found myself single, about six years ago, for reasons that escape me now, I decided that I really must choose my next partner carefully. Compatibility! That's the thing! I decided therefore that I would screen all future suitors via a questionnaire, so I could be sure I was meeting the right type of person.

However, before I could complete this momentous task, I met Claire and the rest, as they say, is history. However I still think it was a good idea. I can't remember the exact content of the questionnaire but I thought I would attempt to recreate it here, so you can see if had you been around back then you would have fitted the bill.

And who knows, if you are single, perhaps it could inspire you to create your own questionnaire, and help you find the man or woman of your dreams.

I have decided to go for a mix of written and pictorial questions. There are 7 in all. When you have finished tot up your scores, a), b) or c) and see how you did.

1) What would be your ideal first date with me?

a) An inspiring and thought provoking piece of modern theatre at the Playhouse in Oxford, examining the role of the creative artist in the contemporary world which has had rave reviews in the Guardian. Followed by a quick drink in the Eagle and Child (only one, mind as we want to stay in control), to discuss the artistic integrity of the piece, and then home before 10pm, with perhaps a chaste kiss on the cheek as a thank-you for a most intellectually stimulating evening.

b) A trip to the flicks to see the latest sci-fi Blockbuster, with a McDonalds beforehand and a few beers afterwards in O'Neills, before grabbing a taxi home and a bit of a fumble in the back seat if I'm lucky.

c) A trip to an evening meeting at Cheltenham Races where I astound and impress you with my amazing knowledge of horse racing and betting, leading inevitably to me winning hundreds if not thousands of pounds, before we check into the honeymoon suite of a nearby hotel, and blow the lot, ordering magnums of champagne, half the room service menu, emptying the mini-bar, watching the in house adult movies and generally having a whale of a time.

2) It's my birthday and you decide to make me a cake. Which of the following would you choose:





a) - Salad Cake







b) Romantic chocolate cake




c) Bacon cake


3) What would you consider to be an ideal evening's televisual viewing?

a) The latest couple of rom-coms hired from Blockbuster, with a nice pot of tea.

b) A few soaps, and then Traffic Cops on BBC1, with a glass of vino or two.

c) A full on sci-fi/ fantasy fest with a takeaway and unlimited wine and Strongbow. Featuring a selection from the following shows: Torchwood, Being Human, Heroes, Doctor Who, Star Trek, V, Survivors, Lost, Ashes To Ashes, Quantum Leap.


4) In the unlikely event that I ever find myself working a nightshift anywhere, you decide to prepare me a nice breakfast for my return. What will I find on the kitchen table on my return?





a) Healthy fruit and muesli -

"well you've got to think of your waistline, Jason"






b) Scrambled eggs on toast -

"well you have been working hard all night and you need plenty of protein".






c) A nice fry-up -

"And I've got some nice danishes for afters if you are still hungry"


5) You decide that we both need to get fit, and you outline you proposals for how we are going to go about this. These are as follows:

a) We both join a gym and also start going out jogging together in the evenings. And maybe next year we can do the Three Peaks for charity!

b) Walk to the pub instead of getting a taxi.

c) Loads and loads and loads of sex.

6) You go out shopping for the day and decide to buy some new underwear. What do you choose?






a) Granny pants





b) something a little naughty and suggestive





c) These!



7) After we have been going out a few months you decide to confess a deep dark secret to me. Which of the following would it be?

a) You are in fact already married, which you somehow neglected to mention, but your husband has been away on a tour in Afghanistan for the last 3 months. He is now due home on leave, has heard about me, and is coming back to beat the crap out of me.

b) Your highly paid job in the city does not actually exist, and you are thousands of pounds in debt, and the bailiffs have tracked you down to my house, hence the mysterious disappearance of my telly whilst I was out shopping earlier.

c) You have been bi-curious for years, and your extremely fit best friend thinks you should explore this side of your sexuality. So that it's all above board and there's no cheating, we should have a threesome.

Now it's time to see how you did:

Mostly a)'s - Well it seems we just aren't compatible. I can't see that it would ever work, but I am sure there is someout out there for you. Try hanging out in the Bodleian, or loitering around the salad bar in Sainsbury's, you need to be around your sort of people.

Mostly b)'s - Well you have promise. Certainly there's enough there to make it worth giving it a try. Once I've conditioned you into normalising the worst excesses of my personality we could have a glorious future together.

Mostly c)'s - Where have you been all my life? Hop on board for the ride of yours!

Well hope you enjoyed that - feel free to leave me comments to let me know how you got on!

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Jason xx