Dirty Love Hearts
| A source of great amusement! |
Today's entry isn't on any one major topic, just a collection of mini topics that have arisen over the last few days.
Firstly - vans. Now as you know, from previous reading, my old Mondeo has been in the wars somewhat but continues to battle on. It's really not large enough - once all my DJ gear is crammed in there is precious little room for anything else - including children unless they want to carry speaker poles on their laps.
I have often thought about upgrading to a larger form of transport but haven't had the inclination to thus far. The options are endless. But the criteria is pretty straightforward. Must be able to fit in all family members, plus all DJ equipment and anything else we need. And following my trip to Calais (from which stocks have run dangerously low), it should have enough room to house a year's supply of wine. Now not wanting to appear an alcoholic I shall not divulge exactly how many bottles that is, but those of you that know me well will be able to come to a reasonable estimate - let's just say we are talking cricket scores rather than rugby here.
This subject was brought to my mind as last night, being the lazy bastard I am, I accepted the offer of a lift home from the pub with Andy and Becky despite only living about 1/4 mile away. However, with most people having left the pub, the two of them were deep in conversation around a table with a group of people. Experience has taught me that this could go on for some time, so I politely excused myself and left, after all the Acorn to my house is hardly a trek. Once outside I saw that Duncan, Eric and Lynda were just about to leave in Duncan's van, so I tapped on the window to say goodnight - as you do, and they asked me if I wanted to go in the back of the van.
So there I ended up, sitting on top of Duncan's equipment (yes I know that sounds wrong, lol!) in complete darkness (no windows) completely disorientated with no idea where we were going. I imagine this must be what it's like getting smuggled into the country. It seemed to go on forever but I did eventually make it home. Conclusion: The main drawback of a van is no seats in the back.
Claire really wants a Camper van and I have to admit I've always fancied one myself (not because I am camp - ha ha). Not an old rusting one like the ones down Priory Road but a brand new one - still available to buy in some parts of the world.
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| There's something timeless about the VW camper van that appeals. |
Other than that, there's always a people carrier. I don't know, I guess we will get something eventually, but may as well keep running the Mondeo into the ground, bits falling off and all.
I hadn't had a night out with friends since before the holiday so I was looking forward to the Acorn last night, and a spot of karaoke with Duncan. It also gave me an opportunity to catch up with Bestie, as I've hardly seen her lately. Which was most amusing.
The highlight was when Taryn came around with a big bucket of sweets and offered us some. I chose a small packet of love hearts - which I find go well with Strongbow. Being the kind sharing soul that I am, I shared them with Lynda, at which point we began to discuss the whole love heart concept. Lynda, showing her devilish streak remarked how amusing it would be to work at the factory and slip in the odd rude one. We then got on to the concept of creating rude love hearts, and a number of suggestions were made, each more outrageous than the last.
My personal favourite was "Kiss My Flaps", though Lynda went for a more direct approach, no beating about the bush (geddit?) here with "Lick My Clit". Both of these had us in tears of laughter. Yes I know it's puerile and childish but why not? It's these shared moments of fun that life's all about.
| Sorry madam, I think there must have been a mix-up at the factory! |
I've actually looked back over this at some stats, and for once this isn't just typical British moaning, we really do seem to be cursed when it comes to bank holidays. Here is the latest 5 day forecast.
Why is it ironic? Well on any normal year this bank holiday weekend takes place on the last weekend in May, but this year it was moved back a week for the Jubilee. Of course last Monday was gloriously hot and sunny at 25 degrees, but thanks to the Jubilee, you were all sweltering in your cars and offices when you should have been out enjoying yourselves. There's your irony.
Even on the scale of bad bank holidays, this forecast is horrendous. Look at Monday - maximum temperature 10 degrees? It's June for f*ck's sake! This country!
Have a great bank holiday - if that's possible!
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Jason xx
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