The Time Bubble

As this is supposed to be a parenting blog - "Hi everyone on Mumsnet", I suppose it would be just as well if I did the occasional post about the children! That was the original intention however I do seem to get sidetracked off onto random topics and exploring some of the strange ideas that come into my head. It's a bit of a mixed blog for that reason - you never really know what you are going to get. Like a bag of Revels - which incidentally is like a game of Russian Roulette for me - what with the peanut allergy and all. In fact people from mumsnet who read this must think I am some sort of weirdo. In fact most of my friends do, so what chance have I got with random strangers when they read my questionnaire's and readers letters. Probably thing it's the outpouring of a seriously deranged mind. What you, my loyal readers must remember at all times that there's a lot of poetic license in what I write, intended purely for amusement value. For instance, on...

The last time I found myself single, about six years ago, for reasons that escape me now, I decided that I really must choose my next partner carefully. Compatibility! That's the thing! I decided therefore that I would screen all future suitors via a questionnaire, so I could be sure I was meeting the right type of person. However, before I could complete this momentous task, I met Claire and the rest, as they say, is history. However I still think it was a good idea. I can't remember the exact content of the questionnaire but I thought I would attempt to recreate it here, so you can see if had you been around back then you would have fitted the bill. And who knows, if you are single, perhaps it could inspire you to create your own questionnaire, and help you find the man or woman of your dreams. I have decided to go for a mix of written and pictorial questions. There are 7 in all. When you have finished tot up your scores, a), b) or c) and see how you did. 1) What wou...

Just before I start - and I am probably being incredibly thick but how do you put an accent on a letter - i.e. the word cafe in the title of this blog. I've often wondered. One of the things that I remember most about Tony Blair's Governement wasn't one of the biggies like war on terror or Iraq. No, it was his confident vision of Britain developing a Pavement Cafe Culture such as you see all the time in cities in Europe, particularly in Southern Europe. The vision I must admit when I was on holiday in Menorca a few years ago, I was struck by how lovely it was in the capital, Ciutadella. Clean, pleasant streets, even in the early evening - no litter, no chewing gum, and happy smiley people in the streets. Parents with their kiddies in the park, at 7pm, and the sun beaming down. Not a down and out sipping a can of White Ice in sight. Of course, the main drawback to this cultural ideal here, (putting aside general British yobbery and littering) is the weather....

There's not getting away from it, I love food. Isn't it just one of the best things ever? I love eating. Now there's a shock for you! I just love food and consequently eat a lot. All the time. "How do you keep that svelte figure, Jason?" I hear you cry...well it's not easy, must be my metabolism or something. During my miserable years at Nielsen - most days, unless by some stroke of luck Dogger and Dave were both out of the office on the same day, I frequently sought solace in the canteen. When that was shut, the vending machines. Somehow the unbearable mind-numbing tedium of it all could be made just that little bit bearable with a packet of Brannigan's Roast Beef and Mustard crisps - whatever happened to them? In fact what happened to a lot of old crisp brands? - swallowed up and altered by the Walkers Machine, slowly conquering the Crisps & Snacks market by stealth. There were loads of brands of crisps around when I was a kid - hedgehog, Tud...