New Year
I have really enjoyed this past week or so with the kids. In fact I am really going to miss them when they go back to school. Playing with the boys, well we are like 3 kids really, I just join in with them. Whether it's chasing each other round the kitchen table, building elaborate train systems with our ever growing collection of track and accessories (the wooden kind) there is always plenty to do. We had a nice day out in Oxford yesterday as well, so easy to jump on the train and take them, at £2.50 return well that's a bargain in my book, can't see what all the moaning is for about train fares in the papers.
I've hardly seen or spoken to any adults this week, but I've been just fine. The thing is, I think holidays should be dedicated to the kids, there is less holiday time than term time, so I can catch up with my friends (most of whom also have kids) once they go back to school.
I'm really getting through to Ollie now, and I think we've built a rapport beyond what anyone else has. He's never been the easiest child to deal with, but he does respect discipline as long as it comes with explanation - for example I have managed to get him to start drinking some milk and dairy products again not by forcing it on him or punishing him for not taking them, but treating him with some respect and intelligence and explaining what calcium is and what we need it for. That's just one example - there are plenty of other areas we are working on. And I give credit where it is due. Here's a couple of lines from a conversation we had yesterday before bed. NB: Ollie has always refused to eat any other sandwich than marmite which puts it into context.
Me: "Thank-you for drinking the milk today and eating the cheese sandwich I made you. And thank-you for doing it without screaming and shouting - it shows you listened to what I said, and that you respect what I say. I was really proud of you son".
Ollie: "Thank-you Daddy - that's a lovely thing to say...you're the best person". And comes over and gives me a big hug.
Sorry if this all sounds a bit sickly and gooey and US sitcom stylee, but I don't care. I put my life and soul into raising these two children into being happy, respectful and decent human beings and moments like that mean the world to me.
There were inevitably lots of messages about New Year on facebook this week. Many take the form of saying what a crap year they've just had and hoping for better for 2013. Some of these messages I have sympathy for, not others. Basically, I've come to the conclusion that life's 50% fate and 50% of your own making (the old philosophical debate) so my feelings really come down to that.
What do I mean? Well I know people who in the past year have lost babies, lost their parents, that sort of thing, out of their control, and I have every sympathy for them. It's only right they should hope for a better year ahead.
I also know people who drift from job to job every few months, go from bad relationship to bad relationship, some of them for years if not decades at a time, these are the same ones who every year tell us what a crap year they've had, sadly I have less sympathy for them. No-one can be that unlucky, perhaps they need to look at the choices they have been making - not they ever do. And of course none of it is ever their fault. I think many of them get a kick out of playing the victim most of the time. They must have loved it when facebook came along and gave them a place to publicly seek self-validation.
Anyway, I am pleased to say nothing bad happened to me last year or the year before. I continued to live my life as I have done these past few years, putting my family first, and living my life the way I want to live it - not how anyone thinks I should live it. In addition I have a few very close friends with whom I share my time, a few more quite close friends - they all know who they are, and I am there for them as they are for me, as and when we need it. Apart from that, well, I'm not wasting time and energy on people who don't merit it. I know full well there are a lot of people out there who don't like me - including a fair few mums in the school playground who don't even acknowledge my existence. Well - that's up to them. They don't know me. Perhaps they've based their opinions on me on rumours they've heard about from other people, or on the way I look, or perhaps they just assume I'm just some lazy unemployed ass because I am a man who does most of the school runs. These people know nothing about me, the person. But I am not bothered quite honestly, because over the last few years through Brookside, the Courtyard, and St Edburg's I've met some wonderful people who have made the effort to get to know me, and I hope you have found it as rewarding being friends with me, as I have with all of you x
My New Year - well I DJ'd at the White Hart for the 3rd year in a row. And it was great.
I have to say, my confidence in the DJ'ing had taken a few knocks recently. I have done a few parties - 50th and 60th birthdays that sort of thing, where I just haven't been able to hit the sweet spot. Even when you can see you've got a room full of people who plainly aren't up for dancing - they just want to chat, and you are basically ignored most of the evening it's hard not to feel a loss of confidence - even when the host comes up to you at the end of the evening and says what a fantastic night they've had. I guess I just have to face facts that every DJ is bound to get some gigs like this - I was just a bit unfortunate to get a spate of them all together in November/ December. Then there's also DJ bad luck! Here's one example. One of the parties I did before Christmas, I had tried various music from various eras and was chopping and changing it about to try and get some people up, I'd just played about 3 sixties numbers to see if I could encourage some of the pensioners up with no luck and decided to change it again, and play a few modern ones. This is what happened, I was nearing the end of a Beatles track with an empty floor, with a big switch planned, kicking into the Black Eyed Peas to see if I could pull up some youngsters. What happened? About 20 seconds before the end of the Beatles track and with only a few seconds until it mixed, suddenly an older couple headed on to the floor and started dancing. It was too late to change the next track and about 5 seconds until the Black Eyed Peas kicked in. As soon as it did they immediately sat down again! Thanks a bunch! If they had come up 30 seconds earlier, I could have reacted, switched into another big 60s number and maybe got all their friends up! The perils of DJ'ing. Anyway I got them all up eventually, thanks to the good old 80s!
Closer to Christmas, I had problems in pubs with abuse from drunken idiots. You know the ones I mean, those that have just finished work for the season, or come out because it's the last weekend before Christmas. The type that drink all day and act like arseholes, so they think the barmaid/ DJ/ whoever is fair game for a bit of abuse. Well not this DJ, I do not take any shit and people mess with me at their peril - I simply will not be spoken to abusively by anyone. How anyone can possibly think they are going to endear themselves to a DJ with comments like "Play some decent f**king tunes mate" and such like is beyond me. Perhaps they think it makes them look hard in front of their mates, or the drink makes them think they can intimidate people. Well not me.
Anyway, all of this can make one question one's faith in one's career choice.
Thankfully sanity and confidence was all restored at New Year, with an all 80s disco - I played for six and a half hours, had a fantastic crowd and atmosphere, not a single complaint, in fact it was possibly the best disco I have ever done - talk about raising your game after a few disappointing performances. I can now go into the New Year with confidence restored and lots of bookings in the diary for the summer months.
As for the rest of the year - as much time as possible with the children, I know they won't be this age forever and want to savour every moment, and when time allows see my friends, even if it's only coffee and chat in the mornings, might not sound much to those with less responsibilities but it means a lot to me. Basically, just keep doing what I'm doing, the things that make me happy, and cut out the things that don't.
Happy New Year!
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
Jason xx
I've hardly seen or spoken to any adults this week, but I've been just fine. The thing is, I think holidays should be dedicated to the kids, there is less holiday time than term time, so I can catch up with my friends (most of whom also have kids) once they go back to school.
I'm really getting through to Ollie now, and I think we've built a rapport beyond what anyone else has. He's never been the easiest child to deal with, but he does respect discipline as long as it comes with explanation - for example I have managed to get him to start drinking some milk and dairy products again not by forcing it on him or punishing him for not taking them, but treating him with some respect and intelligence and explaining what calcium is and what we need it for. That's just one example - there are plenty of other areas we are working on. And I give credit where it is due. Here's a couple of lines from a conversation we had yesterday before bed. NB: Ollie has always refused to eat any other sandwich than marmite which puts it into context.
Me: "Thank-you for drinking the milk today and eating the cheese sandwich I made you. And thank-you for doing it without screaming and shouting - it shows you listened to what I said, and that you respect what I say. I was really proud of you son".
Ollie: "Thank-you Daddy - that's a lovely thing to say...you're the best person". And comes over and gives me a big hug.
Sorry if this all sounds a bit sickly and gooey and US sitcom stylee, but I don't care. I put my life and soul into raising these two children into being happy, respectful and decent human beings and moments like that mean the world to me.
There were inevitably lots of messages about New Year on facebook this week. Many take the form of saying what a crap year they've just had and hoping for better for 2013. Some of these messages I have sympathy for, not others. Basically, I've come to the conclusion that life's 50% fate and 50% of your own making (the old philosophical debate) so my feelings really come down to that.
What do I mean? Well I know people who in the past year have lost babies, lost their parents, that sort of thing, out of their control, and I have every sympathy for them. It's only right they should hope for a better year ahead.
I also know people who drift from job to job every few months, go from bad relationship to bad relationship, some of them for years if not decades at a time, these are the same ones who every year tell us what a crap year they've had, sadly I have less sympathy for them. No-one can be that unlucky, perhaps they need to look at the choices they have been making - not they ever do. And of course none of it is ever their fault. I think many of them get a kick out of playing the victim most of the time. They must have loved it when facebook came along and gave them a place to publicly seek self-validation.
Anyway, I am pleased to say nothing bad happened to me last year or the year before. I continued to live my life as I have done these past few years, putting my family first, and living my life the way I want to live it - not how anyone thinks I should live it. In addition I have a few very close friends with whom I share my time, a few more quite close friends - they all know who they are, and I am there for them as they are for me, as and when we need it. Apart from that, well, I'm not wasting time and energy on people who don't merit it. I know full well there are a lot of people out there who don't like me - including a fair few mums in the school playground who don't even acknowledge my existence. Well - that's up to them. They don't know me. Perhaps they've based their opinions on me on rumours they've heard about from other people, or on the way I look, or perhaps they just assume I'm just some lazy unemployed ass because I am a man who does most of the school runs. These people know nothing about me, the person. But I am not bothered quite honestly, because over the last few years through Brookside, the Courtyard, and St Edburg's I've met some wonderful people who have made the effort to get to know me, and I hope you have found it as rewarding being friends with me, as I have with all of you x
My New Year - well I DJ'd at the White Hart for the 3rd year in a row. And it was great.
 |
| Me on New Year's Eve |
I have to say, my confidence in the DJ'ing had taken a few knocks recently. I have done a few parties - 50th and 60th birthdays that sort of thing, where I just haven't been able to hit the sweet spot. Even when you can see you've got a room full of people who plainly aren't up for dancing - they just want to chat, and you are basically ignored most of the evening it's hard not to feel a loss of confidence - even when the host comes up to you at the end of the evening and says what a fantastic night they've had. I guess I just have to face facts that every DJ is bound to get some gigs like this - I was just a bit unfortunate to get a spate of them all together in November/ December. Then there's also DJ bad luck! Here's one example. One of the parties I did before Christmas, I had tried various music from various eras and was chopping and changing it about to try and get some people up, I'd just played about 3 sixties numbers to see if I could encourage some of the pensioners up with no luck and decided to change it again, and play a few modern ones. This is what happened, I was nearing the end of a Beatles track with an empty floor, with a big switch planned, kicking into the Black Eyed Peas to see if I could pull up some youngsters. What happened? About 20 seconds before the end of the Beatles track and with only a few seconds until it mixed, suddenly an older couple headed on to the floor and started dancing. It was too late to change the next track and about 5 seconds until the Black Eyed Peas kicked in. As soon as it did they immediately sat down again! Thanks a bunch! If they had come up 30 seconds earlier, I could have reacted, switched into another big 60s number and maybe got all their friends up! The perils of DJ'ing. Anyway I got them all up eventually, thanks to the good old 80s!
Closer to Christmas, I had problems in pubs with abuse from drunken idiots. You know the ones I mean, those that have just finished work for the season, or come out because it's the last weekend before Christmas. The type that drink all day and act like arseholes, so they think the barmaid/ DJ/ whoever is fair game for a bit of abuse. Well not this DJ, I do not take any shit and people mess with me at their peril - I simply will not be spoken to abusively by anyone. How anyone can possibly think they are going to endear themselves to a DJ with comments like "Play some decent f**king tunes mate" and such like is beyond me. Perhaps they think it makes them look hard in front of their mates, or the drink makes them think they can intimidate people. Well not me.
Anyway, all of this can make one question one's faith in one's career choice.
Thankfully sanity and confidence was all restored at New Year, with an all 80s disco - I played for six and a half hours, had a fantastic crowd and atmosphere, not a single complaint, in fact it was possibly the best disco I have ever done - talk about raising your game after a few disappointing performances. I can now go into the New Year with confidence restored and lots of bookings in the diary for the summer months.
As for the rest of the year - as much time as possible with the children, I know they won't be this age forever and want to savour every moment, and when time allows see my friends, even if it's only coffee and chat in the mornings, might not sound much to those with less responsibilities but it means a lot to me. Basically, just keep doing what I'm doing, the things that make me happy, and cut out the things that don't.
Happy New Year!
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
Jason xx
Nice sentiment to the post Jason. Good to see you had a good gig for New Year. Although I've never DJ'd I do have a lot of repsect for DJ's as we did do the playlist for our own wedding and it took us ages and a bit of stressing to work out the running order, trying to pre-empt what will get people dancing.
ReplyDeleteI guess that's the benefit of a live DJ that you can react to the mood of the room.