Wednesday, 29 February 2012

The girl on the train

In case you've been wondering why all the late night music links, and bloggage about family, friends and such like is that I've had something preying on my mind over the past week, that was finally set to rest today.

I've been a typical man and buried my head in the sand and not gone to the Doctors, even over a month after the symptoms first started. But it is only since Thursday last week when I casually described the symptoms to Alex and he mentioned that someone else he knew had the same symptoms and had ended up with pneumonia I started to panic.

As someone with a history of heart/ blood pressure problems stretching back to 2003 this was not good.

The symptoms, a weird fluttering sensation in my chest, couldn't place whether it was from the heart, the lungs, digestive tract or wherever, but just made me feel plain damned weird! Of course I start imagining all sorts of horrible thoughts about what it could be, then how my wonderful family would cope without me and then I end up in a dark place. Who to confide in - well finally came clean to my wife how bad it was and she forced me to go and get it checked out.

I didn't really discuss it with anyone else, other than a brief mention, as you all know I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders, and don't want to burden friends unnecessarily with my problems when they have so many of their own right now.

I had one of these today, no idea what any of the lines mean though.

Anyway, having had an ECG and various checks, it seems I have developed an ectopic heartbeat. Now various causes of this were mentioned but the key one identified was excessive caffeine consumption. I have been knocking back an awful lot, my main source of liquid intake through the day being filter coffee and diet coke. Well this is easily changed. Various other things such as stress were mentioned, and it's true I do allow myself to get stressed unduly by things, so I am going to try and chill out a bit, and concentrate on simple family matters, trips to the park, JTV with Claire, and just take a little step back from things for a while.

Anyway - on to the song. This you will recall is a new feature where I present to you a song and hopefully a little story about it, building up over time into a little soundtrack of my life.

I'm thinking back to about 1984, and a shy awkward teenager that I was at an all boys school who could barely pluck up the courage to speak to a girl. Bet that's shocked you, I've changed a bit since then, haven't I? Anyway on the bus back from Oxford there used to be this lovely girl with long blonde hair who went to one of the girl's schools in Oxford. I used to look at her every day for about 2 years and longed to pluck up the courage to speak to her but I never did.

This song, when I first heard it reminded me of it. It's by a band called the "Divine Comedy" you may remember from the late 90s. I do love the Divine Comedy as they always tell a story in their songs, unlike most of the mindless pap around these days. Anyway this song concerns a man who catches a train to work every day and becomes besotted with a girl that sits opposite him. In his mind he builds an entire fantasy world around this girl, yet never dare speak to her for fear of shattering his illusion.

Anyway, the girl on his train was the girl on my bus all those years ago.

A picture of a girl on a train.

It might be better to cut and paste the link into another window as when I did it, it navigated me away from this page.

No comments:

Post a Comment