Thursday, 16 February 2012

Dream Date

Once again during my trip to London I passed by close to the London Eye and got to wondering if anyone had ever had a shag on it.

In public I am guessing probably not as you go in a car with about 30 other people and there are not exactly any hidey holes where one could perform such a feat, even if your lady sat on your lap it would look suspicious. I am thinking maybe being tossed off under a blanket might just about be feasible, but hardly the most romantic way to take advantage of the setting of floating high above the London skyline.

Now with it being Valentine's day and all, I thought, whoever runs this wheel is missing a trick here. What an opportunity to get make some serious money by offering the ultimate Valentine's day date. Now as we all know there's loads of idiots with more money than sense in London (bankers, stockbrokers, MP's - take your pick) so why not get them to spend some of it. Now for what I propose I would suggest perhaps a fee of say £5,000. Expensive enough to keep out the riff raff but well within the budgets of some of those overpaid types mentioned above, who probably earn that much in a day.

So let me introduce you to the Valentine's Day Dream Date - or if you prefer - The Ultimate Shag.

Now the wheel takes about 40 minutes to go round, I assume you can adjust the speed, so I reckon slow it down so it takes about an hour. You book your time slot and then you are all set for 2 laps of the London skyline.

When you enter your car at say 8pm, waiting inside is a team of caterers, smartly dressed, all ready to serve you, with silver service, a head waiter, champagne all ready to serve and the table all laid out ready for you to sit down for dinner. Nothing is too much trouble for you from your highly efficient team, in a scene like a dinner party from Downton Abbey.

Over the next hour the wine flows freely, you enjoy a sumptious dinner, and make sweet conversation with your lady love, which will be your wife/ fiancee/ girlfriend/ secretary/ prostitute (delete as appropriate). Then as 9pm approaches, here comes the good bit.

Just before your car reaches ground level, your highly skilled team of caterers whip away all the plates and cutlery, completely clearing the table which then magically rotates 180 degress on its axis, converting instantly into a four poster bed. As Big Ben strikes 9 across the river, the doors open, your catering team bid you farewell, leaving you alone in the car ready for lap 2. As your car rises once more above the London skyline, your lover swoons in your arms as you too rise to the occasion, and enjoy a moonlit knee trembler in the ultimate romantic location. By 10pm you are back on terra firma, but grinning from ear to ear as you exit the car into the cold London night.

Not a bad idea I don't think at all, I will email Boris later and see what he thinks.

How about it, Boris? Can I have a free go for thinking of the idea?

Today is my birthday so I will be out shortly for a meal - we have eaten out virtually every meal for the last 3 days and then I'm having a little party with my friends down at the Kings Arms - it is happening there as that's where the karaoke roadshow lands on a Thursday evening. Really looking forward to it, and I believe that there's a very special surprise for me to look forward to! It's been a very well kept secret and I really don't know what it's going to be I just know it's going to be good!

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Jason x x

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