Friday, 4 November 2011

Bicester Book Of Records

Well another week sails by, and what have I achieved, feels like very little really. Being a housewife mainly involved doing the same things over and over again - the job description basically entails enusring everyone is fed, clothed, watered etc. The washing goes in an endless cycle it seems.

Of course it would be easy to cut corners but I just feel a sense of responsibility not to ignore things. For example I pulled out Jamie's cot to find several hard dried splodges of milk on the floor. It would have been easy to just ignore it and push the cot back but I got down on my hands and knees and scrubbed. I also found something else rather unpleasant down there. All I will say is that Jamie has been taking his nappy off in the morning recently and this thing was certainly not a "malteser" as it first appeared.

NB: I did not find this out by tasting it by the way.

At the precise moment of writing I have just changed the sheets on our bed, the old ones are in the washing machine and I have just put away all the washing I did yesterday. In a few minutes it will be time to get Jamie's lunch, and I already have some other cooking on the go. I am determined to keep up this blog though so I am bashing these keys like there is no tomorrow.

I had hoped that when Ollie started school full time that things would get easier, but that hasn't seemed to be the case at all - the number of things to do just seems to grow and grow and grow. I have abandoned all pretence at getting back to the OU studies - I can't see that happening until all 3 children are at Primary school which will not be until September 2016 at the earliest.

I am also acutely aware that I am letting down my friends, in fact every Sunday night I say to my two best friends, "we must get together for coffee this week". All seems quite feasible at the time, yet here we are on Friday lunchtime and I've not found time for any contact with them other than the briefest of comments on facebook - which in itself I am using less and less and less. I am going to try and get out for a drink tonight and see them, though if its anything like last time I will be so knackered I will want to come home to bed after three pints. I don't know what's wrong with me - parenting? middle age? who knows.

I did eventually make it to a cafe this morning, I was walking into town with a few of the mums from school and they were going for coffee, and one of them asked me if I wanted to come. I was a little nervous as I haven't really clicked with the other parents yet like I did at the Courtyard, but I agreed. As I think I have mentioned before it takes me a long time to really develop friendships with people. Anyway it was OK, there were 5 of them there, and 3 of them were the 3 that I have tended to talk to the most so it was OK. I am a bit unsure about one of the others, I get the perception she does not like me, but that may just be me being paranoid, or maybe it's just because I am a man. Anyway as you know I am not one for worrying much about what people think, but in this case, I do need to get on with these people. Their children and my Ollie go to school together, and we are bound together through the school to meet again and again so the last thing I want is any sort of problem with anyone.

I'll just  do what I always do, keep being me and normally things work out OK.

Talk has been turning to Christmas inevitably, and present ideas. I have been browsing through the books available and all the old favourites are out again this year, annuals, Ripley's and of course the Guinness Book Of Records. Now I really can't see the point of buying this book on an annual basis, as very little changes from one year to the next. It's not even as much fun as it used to be. When we were kids it used to have a section in it all about food and drink - I am sure you remember it. Record for eating raw eggs, 48 in a minute that sort of thing. 325 backed beans in 2 minutes one by one with a cocktail stick was another I remember. Anyway, it was by far the best bit of the book but they took it out as it was deemed "irresponsible". And thus with it went any hope I ever had of getting in the book. Not that I recall there being an entry for crisp consumption.

Of all the records in the food section the one that seemed most achievable to me was "a whole roast ox in 42 days". Now I am not entirely sure how big an ox is, but that seems quite reasonable to me. I would certainly consider having a go at it.

Now what would be of more interest would be a local version, just based on Bicester itself. Entries could include records from the entertainment song e.g. "most performances of the same song at karaoke by one singer in a calendar year" - winner Ronnie, or business "longest unoccupied shop premises" - the Oven Door, Crown Walk. NB: Finally it has re-opened.

I am sure I could think of a few more if I put my mind to it. In fact I can think of several but they might be deemed insulting, so perhaps not for now.

I was trying to rack my brains to see if I held a Bicester record and I could only come up with one thing, which is rather sordid, but I am pretty confident no-one can better it. If they can, I am happy to stand aside and let them take the credit. Mine is "First person in Bicester to have sex with someone they met on the internet". It was in 1996. Can anyone beat that?

Sounds shocking when blatantly put like that doesn't it? But I know loads of people who have done it since! So it's not that big a deal - and I'm pretty sure I was single at the time.

If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.

Jason x x


  1. Here's a couple of food records I'd like to give a go:

    The most Ferrero Rocher chocolates eaten in one minute is eight and was achieved by Chris Vollmershausen (Canada) in Toronto, Ontario, Canada, on 24 June 2009.

    The fastest time to eat 15 Ferrero Rocher® is 4 minutes 2 seconds and was achieved by Gregg Pizzi (USA), in Woodbridge, Connecticut, USA, on 11 July 2009.

    The most Jaffa Cakes eaten in one minute is 8 by Gustav Schulz (UK) in Essex, UK, in two attempts, on 9 October 2009 and 1 February 2010.

    I think I could give any of these a good attempt ;)

    Here's the site in case you want to check any records out:

  2. 8 Jaffa Cakes in a minute - that sounds easy(?) I have a packet in the cupboard, perhaps I should try. I can eat one in about 5 seconds so I should be able to do 12(?) Or does it not work like that?

    I'll have a go at that when I've finished my roast ox!

    Jason x x