I've been quiet for a few days.
I've been ill. Picked up the virus the kids had, laid me low. Worst thing about it, not the feeling ill, but as someone who has a sleep disorder, this completely wrecked my chance to sleep for two nights.
I have a condition called "sleep aponea", I won't bore you with the details, you can look it up, but for anyone who thought I was just fat and lazy, well I can blame my condition for at least 10% of my sloth!
Anyway, having run a temperature, just like the kids did, and becoming ravenously thirsty seemed to aggravate the aponea to the extent that for the last 2 nights, I estimate that I fell asleep and woke up approximately 240 times each night. This left me in a delirious and other worldy state, with recurrent hellish dreams, to the extent that by morning I was not only utterly exhausted but also not even sure quite who or where I was.
I am just about feeling human again now, and having a couple of glasses of wine as I really need to knock myself out and get a decent sleep as I have 2 nights work ahead now not to mention the 9 day half term stretch.
By 7pm tomorrow night I have to be (at least give the illusion of being) bright eyed and bushy tailed to help a couple celebrate their silver wedding anniversary.
Claire has been great, although being on late shifts she's done all the housework and jobs I normally do when she's working. So I have survived another illness, it seems.
However one thing that Claire could not help with (and nobody else for that matter) was the annual aggravation of the car's MOT. Now those of you that know me, will know that I utterly hate driving and do it only as a necessary evil. In the days before I had kids I cycled everywhere, and after moving down here to Chapel Street, went a couple of years without owning a car altogether.
When I took up the DJ'ing full time about 4 years ago I had to get some transport, so reluctantly got a car and got back on the road, quite frankly I sometimes wonder if it was worth it - this car has literally costs me thousands to keep on the road and it just saps away hard earned nights work.
The bill to get it through the MOT this time was £519. To put this in context, in one foul swoop that's just wiped out the last two weddings I did and then some. When you add in all the other expenses that it costs me on an annual basis, I'm working a good 7 to 10 Saturday nights a year just to pay for the car.
And it's not a like I get a lot else use from it. Since I got it I've only done about 10,000 miles, that's in just under four years. It had 90,000+ on the clock when I got it.
With that and all the other expenses of running the business, I never actually get to see any of the money I earn on Saturday nights. I have already been given a cheque for the job tomorrow night, but the money's effectively already been spent.
With a growing family, and all this equipment to lug around, I need a people carrier. But I can't see me getting one any time soon, I've no fairy godmother or sugar daddy who's going to put one my way, so guess will have to struggle on with the Mondeo. Any money that does come my way I invariably invest in the children anyway - I do not spend any money on myself. When I manage to scrape together a few hundred quid (which I do by living frugally and not going out) I would rather spend it on a holiday or something nice for them.
I know that might make me seem boring in some people's eyes because I don't go out on the piss all the time anymore, but that's how it is.
Decades from now when my kids tell their grand kids about me I want them to remember me as a fun dad who took them on fun holidays and places they wanted to go. In the end nothing else matters really.
I just want to be a good Dad.
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Jason x x