Friday, 2 August 2013

Fantasy Meat

Now there is an interesting title. Not an unsurprising one for me, after all, we all know by now my meat obsession and it is not beyond the realms of the imagination to think that I might fantasise about it. In a completely non-sexual way I hasten to add. No oven-ready chickens have ever been abused in this house.

What shall I talk about first - meat, or fantasy? I'll put it out to my new instant blog reader votagram...here we go...and it's meat!

One of the great things about the new Sainsbury is the deli counter - specifically the part that has the cooked meats on it. Now all week I have been getting the most amazing offers here. We all know that generally, meat off the deli is quite expensive - and being Sainsbury, this is no exception. However, nearly every day they are marking down stuff by quite considerable margins to get rid of it.

Now I know that instantly that will wipe out a lot of you as potential purchasers. Many people just feel squeamish about buying food near the sell by date. But I have got a trained eye, and I can see that these hams, beef and turkey slices and more are all perfectly good. When I asked they said that it had to be eaten by tomorrow - now that is more than enough time.

So I have been getting really nice deli ham, beef and more at knock down prices - e.g. reduced from £1.50 per 100gm to 75p per 100gm. That's great quality stuff at great prices. You don't have to buy loads, just two or three slices for the average consumer. Or if you are me, ten. Then just go back the next day and get some more.

The ultimate bargain came on Tuesday when their Ox Tongue and Pork Tongue was reduced to just 20p per 100gm! Amazing value! I bought loads and it was absolutely fine. I worked out it was about 5p a slice!

Apologies for the inclusion of the tomatoes in the picture.
This was due to an administrative error.

Now some who turn their noses up at reduced stock will very probably also turn their noses up at the idea of "tongue". I have noticed that there is a certain demographic - well basically, nearly everyone else except me that finds the whole idea of tongue, black pudding, kidney, anything of that ilk vaguely disgusting. Now here in 2013 I don't want to say anything that might be perceived as sexist but such revulsion does seem to come particular from females, so perhaps eating unconventional bits of animals is just a "man thing". Who knows?

Anyway I have eaten well and cheaply all week, tying in with the launch of Austerity Dad, so I am happy, and as far as I can tell from my bowel movements, nothing untoward has occurred on account of eating this food close to its expiry date, so all is well. Quite honestly, I think all this use by date stuff does is create paranoia in the minds of the population and they do it to protect themselves. The word on the street is that big supermarkets chuck out millions of pounds worth of perfectly edible food every day because of the regulations. Heard of skip surfing for food? Look it up. No, I haven't sunk to those depths but if I don't start shifting a few of these books, I might soon!

Fantasy - what's that all about? Well I've ducked out of playing Fantasy Football this year, I have got to be honest, my interest in Premiership football has dipped to an all time low. It is rather boring to be honest, and I do play another footie game on facebook. I've come up with an idea for a much better game though, and I am surprised nobody has made it.

In this era of reality TV, computer games, simulations and all the rest of it, how about a new game called "Fantasy Pub". You see, I really don't understand the appeal of all these war games where you go around killing people and all the rest of it. Perhaps it helps people work off frustration or whatever. Until they do it in real life. Then there is all that farm building nonsense. I've got no interest in hanging around farms in real life so I certainly am not going to waste time pretending to have one on the computer.

Anyway, I reckon a great interactive game would be where you just go down the pub. It could have fruities, some sort of virtual currency, and you could also interact with people over the internet. An ideal environment in which to try and meet and get off with people of the opposite sex without the humiliation that a rejection or a knee in the bollocks often causes in real life. You could have avatars and everything. There could even be a choice of various after pub eateries like in real life where you stagger around looking for some late night food whilst trying to avoid stepping in the pools of sick or getting beaten up. All the fun of a night out from your front room. And of course if you did pull in the virtual pub, there's nothing to stop you meeting up with them in real life. Just don't be surprised if the incredibly hunky six-packed gorgeous hunk you pulled turns out to be an gluttonous 43 year old cider swilling married fat bloke. You see I have got my avatar worked out already.

"Virtual Pub" - it's a winner - don't nick my idea games companies please, I announced it here first so you can buy the rights off me. Have a word with my agent if you want to negotiate a deal.

Just before I go - got a free gift for you loyal blog readers. Because I am trying to drum up sales for my new book, Austerity Dad, I am doing a free promo on my first book, Fortysomething Father which you can get for absolutely nothing, that's £0.00 until 8am on Sunday. Grab yourself a copy, and if you like it, you can always buy the new one for real cash! Here is the link ***FREE COPY***

If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.

Jason xx


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