Dear Jay - Your financial and sexual problems answered by our expert.
Since my book has been published, I have had a few more letters coming through from people who have read the chapter entitled Jay's Dilemma's.
I've also been getting a lot of feedback from people on all of the money saving tips I've been giving you over the past year. From baking your own bread and hams, to how to get money off your shopping bill, collectively I must have saved you, my loyal readers literally thousands by now.
It's no co-incidence that some of these problem page letters coming through deal not only with your sexual problems, but also your financial predicaments. As a (self-proclaimed) expert in these areas, I feel it only fair that I should offer you my help. And good help it is too - with my tips not only will you be saving money, but you will also be getting laid! It's a win-win situation!
So here are three letters I have received, and my advice to the writers.
Dear Jay,
I am a 17 year old A Level boy at a local sixth form college. My exams are coming up soon and as a consequence I have decided to pack in my part-time job at KFC in order to free up more time for revision. This has left me rather short of cash. However, there is this girl in my class that I really fancy and a week or two ago she said I could take her out if I liked. I have not had much luck with girls over the years, so I was over the moon when she said that, and even more so when she hinted that if I took her to the pictures she might let me put my hand inside her bra.
I had a few quid left over from my job at KFC, so off we went to Oxford on the S5 to see Fast and Furious 6 which my mate said was the sort of film that girls like. I had about 25 quid in my pocket so thought that would be more than enough as the tickets were about a tenner. She suggestively said she wanted some sweets so went to the Pick N Mix counters and put a few in a bag. I didn't think it would cost that much but when we got to the till and the assistant weighed them she wanted £8. As soon as I had paid I realised I didn't have enough money for both tickets. When I told my girl she was not happy. In the end I offered to pay for her ticket and I waited outside until she came out. But when she came out of the film she was holding hands and snogging with another bloke. Where did I go wrong?
"Heartbroken" of Bicester.
Dear Heartbroken,
Oh dear, oh dear oh dear. You've made a classic mistake here. Never, ever, ever buy your Pic 'n' Mix at the cinema. You are being totally ripped off and what's worse is that you've missed out on some serious action here as well. If only you had thought to go into Poundland first, you could have got 3 or 4 bags of sweets and been more than well enough stocked up for the day. Same goes for drinks and popcorn. Still we live and learn, better luck next time. Still you probably had a lucky escape really, she sounds the sort who would have screwed you over eventually anyway once the money ran out.
Dear Jay,
I work for a large Government agency in an administration role in an office building opposite the petrol station on London Road. In order to relieve the monotony of my mundane existence I have taken to popping over there two or three times a day to purchase various snack, confectionery and soft drink products. I also don't have a girlfriend at present, so have also taken to purchasing "adult interest" magazines from there on occasion, I don't feel embarrassed as I'm quite pally with the manager there and there is a bit of the "all lads together" mentality.
However recently, a really nice girl has started working there, and I have taken to going over more and more often in order to chat with her and she seems really nice and also seems to like me. I had been thinking of asking her out some time soon, however due to what happened last night, I am not sure if I can ever face her again.
Obviously I had not been purchasing my magazines whilst she was there, but last night the manager was on, and I had just got to the till with a paper, magazine and a Mars Bar, when the manager called out "Laura, I'm going on my break now, can you take over?". Before I could react she came out of the office and was confronted immediately with the sight of me holding a copy of Razzle. I was mortified and went home a bright shade of red.
What should I do now?
"Beetroot" of Bicester
Dear Beetroot,
Right, first of all you should not be shopping at that petrol station at all .80p for a Mars Bar? You've having a laugh! Don't you know you can get four for a quid in Tesco's? And what are you doing wasting your money on Jazz mags anyway, don't you know it's all free on the internet these days? I can't help those that can't help themselves I'm afraid.
Dear Jay,
I am a 23 year old girl living and working in Bicester. For some time now I have felt a little confused about my sexuality, and things all came to a head a few weeks ago when I was out with my best friend, who incidentally is dead fit. For some time I have had a crush on her, and she had hinted to me that she might feel the same. We were actually at one of your discos the night it all came to a head. You played that song "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry and I thought, well it's now or never, took the plunge and kissed her. She responded, and it just felt amazing. Now a week later, we are an item. However, due to us both still living at home to old fashioned parents (they wouldn't approve of that sort of thing), we have not had a chance to properly explore our relationship, if you get what I mean.
I graduated from Uni last year and have a lot of student debt, so I have very little spare money. What we would really like to do is spend a whole night together, and wondered if you could recommend a nice hotel locally that is not expensive where we can finally be together.
"Bi-curious" of Bicester.
Dear Bi-curious.
Of course, I'd be only too delighted to help, and what's more I can do far better than recommend a hotel. It just so happens my mate is away for the week and he has left me the keys to his flat so that I can feed his tropical fish. There's no point you wasting money on expensive hotels when this flat is lying empty, so I am more than happy to lend you the keys for the evening. Tonight would be as good as time as any if that would suit you? I must just pop round and straighten the place up first.
Right I must go now as I need to charge up the battery for my camcorder. Keep your letters coming in and I'll answer more next time!
Jason xx
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
I've also been getting a lot of feedback from people on all of the money saving tips I've been giving you over the past year. From baking your own bread and hams, to how to get money off your shopping bill, collectively I must have saved you, my loyal readers literally thousands by now.
It's no co-incidence that some of these problem page letters coming through deal not only with your sexual problems, but also your financial predicaments. As a (self-proclaimed) expert in these areas, I feel it only fair that I should offer you my help. And good help it is too - with my tips not only will you be saving money, but you will also be getting laid! It's a win-win situation!
So here are three letters I have received, and my advice to the writers.
Dear Jay,
I am a 17 year old A Level boy at a local sixth form college. My exams are coming up soon and as a consequence I have decided to pack in my part-time job at KFC in order to free up more time for revision. This has left me rather short of cash. However, there is this girl in my class that I really fancy and a week or two ago she said I could take her out if I liked. I have not had much luck with girls over the years, so I was over the moon when she said that, and even more so when she hinted that if I took her to the pictures she might let me put my hand inside her bra.
I had a few quid left over from my job at KFC, so off we went to Oxford on the S5 to see Fast and Furious 6 which my mate said was the sort of film that girls like. I had about 25 quid in my pocket so thought that would be more than enough as the tickets were about a tenner. She suggestively said she wanted some sweets so went to the Pick N Mix counters and put a few in a bag. I didn't think it would cost that much but when we got to the till and the assistant weighed them she wanted £8. As soon as I had paid I realised I didn't have enough money for both tickets. When I told my girl she was not happy. In the end I offered to pay for her ticket and I waited outside until she came out. But when she came out of the film she was holding hands and snogging with another bloke. Where did I go wrong?
"Heartbroken" of Bicester.
Dear Heartbroken,
Oh dear, oh dear oh dear. You've made a classic mistake here. Never, ever, ever buy your Pic 'n' Mix at the cinema. You are being totally ripped off and what's worse is that you've missed out on some serious action here as well. If only you had thought to go into Poundland first, you could have got 3 or 4 bags of sweets and been more than well enough stocked up for the day. Same goes for drinks and popcorn. Still we live and learn, better luck next time. Still you probably had a lucky escape really, she sounds the sort who would have screwed you over eventually anyway once the money ran out.
Dear Jay,
I work for a large Government agency in an administration role in an office building opposite the petrol station on London Road. In order to relieve the monotony of my mundane existence I have taken to popping over there two or three times a day to purchase various snack, confectionery and soft drink products. I also don't have a girlfriend at present, so have also taken to purchasing "adult interest" magazines from there on occasion, I don't feel embarrassed as I'm quite pally with the manager there and there is a bit of the "all lads together" mentality.
However recently, a really nice girl has started working there, and I have taken to going over more and more often in order to chat with her and she seems really nice and also seems to like me. I had been thinking of asking her out some time soon, however due to what happened last night, I am not sure if I can ever face her again.
Obviously I had not been purchasing my magazines whilst she was there, but last night the manager was on, and I had just got to the till with a paper, magazine and a Mars Bar, when the manager called out "Laura, I'm going on my break now, can you take over?". Before I could react she came out of the office and was confronted immediately with the sight of me holding a copy of Razzle. I was mortified and went home a bright shade of red.
What should I do now?
"Beetroot" of Bicester
Dear Beetroot,
Right, first of all you should not be shopping at that petrol station at all .80p for a Mars Bar? You've having a laugh! Don't you know you can get four for a quid in Tesco's? And what are you doing wasting your money on Jazz mags anyway, don't you know it's all free on the internet these days? I can't help those that can't help themselves I'm afraid.
Dear Jay,
I am a 23 year old girl living and working in Bicester. For some time now I have felt a little confused about my sexuality, and things all came to a head a few weeks ago when I was out with my best friend, who incidentally is dead fit. For some time I have had a crush on her, and she had hinted to me that she might feel the same. We were actually at one of your discos the night it all came to a head. You played that song "I kissed a girl" by Katy Perry and I thought, well it's now or never, took the plunge and kissed her. She responded, and it just felt amazing. Now a week later, we are an item. However, due to us both still living at home to old fashioned parents (they wouldn't approve of that sort of thing), we have not had a chance to properly explore our relationship, if you get what I mean.
I graduated from Uni last year and have a lot of student debt, so I have very little spare money. What we would really like to do is spend a whole night together, and wondered if you could recommend a nice hotel locally that is not expensive where we can finally be together.
"Bi-curious" of Bicester.
Dear Bi-curious.
Of course, I'd be only too delighted to help, and what's more I can do far better than recommend a hotel. It just so happens my mate is away for the week and he has left me the keys to his flat so that I can feed his tropical fish. There's no point you wasting money on expensive hotels when this flat is lying empty, so I am more than happy to lend you the keys for the evening. Tonight would be as good as time as any if that would suit you? I must just pop round and straighten the place up first.
Right I must go now as I need to charge up the battery for my camcorder. Keep your letters coming in and I'll answer more next time!
Jason xx
If you have enjoyed reading this blog, please take a look at my books on Amazon (Paperback & Kindle), where you can read lots more of the same! Click here.
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