Thursday, 14 April 2016

New Tesco store, same old Tesco.



A new larger Tesco has just opened in Bicester so I thought I would go and have a look. It's the first time I have set foot in a Tesco for some time, so disgruntled have I become by their modus operandi, I need not go into detail - it has been heavily documented in my past scribblings.

Maybe they've changed I thought, so I went to have a look round and see what the new store was like. Sadly, I was not impressed. I thought perhaps after their £6.4bn loss last year, they might have learned some lessons (i.e. don't treat your shoppers like mugs), but sadly it's still the same old Tesco. Yes, it's bigger, and yes it's clean and modern but it's still overpriced and full of "special" offers that are not special at all - e.g. Tuc Biscuits - was £1.29 now only £1. SAVE 29p!

Yeah, great, but Poundland sell them at two packs for a quid. So your "special" offer is actually double their price. I'm sure plenty of less savvy shoppers will be duped into thinking they are getting value, though.

The regular prices of many things are also way too expensive. £1.50 for six packets of Quavers/ Wotsits etc just is not the going rate! No-one should ever pay more than £1 for six bags of crisps, and even that is a lot when you consider that you can get 24 for £3 in most discount stores. And as for £5.59 for 12 cans of Pepsi, that is just a disgrace.

And this is why I shop around and don't put all my eggs in one basket. I shall be sticking to my usual Aldi/ Lidl/ Iceland/ Poundland/ Sainsbury's circuit as I do every week. I know exactly what I need to buy over the course of the week, what I can get in each store and how much it all costs. I estimate I save at least £50 a week this way, which amounts up to a tidy sum over the year. Put in this way, it more than pays for our holidays. As far as I am concerned, the old fashioned way of just going once a week to one shop and buying all the regular brands at normal price is a mug's way of shopping. Unless it's Aldi or Lidl, that is.

Of course, if you have a high paid job and don't have to worry about how much it costs or have time to go more than once a week then I suppose it doesn't matter much. The thing about me, though, is that I love a bargain. Even if I was a billionaire, I'd still get a kick out of buying something for 99p in Iceland, knowing that it costs £1.49 in Tesco. It must enhance some sort of pleasure centre in the brain, the same one you stimulate when you have eat chocolate or have sex. Perhaps it's some sort of fetish. In the same way some people like being tied up or dominated, maybe people like me would get a heightened sexual experience if they were to perform the act along the aisles in Poundland whilst simultaneously gazing at the shelf where the 2 for £1 sign is on the shelf below the Tuc biscuits. It's probably not a good idea to try and find out - people seem to get quite upset about that sort of thing and call the police.

Anyway, I just love shopping and the good thing about being a shopaholic when it comes to food is that you can't get into too serious an amount of debt if you overdo it. I imagine it's the shopaholics who are into designer clothes, shoes, handbags and all that stuff who run into that sort of trouble. I can't see that being a problem for me, I'm not really into handbags, my old rucksack I got off the market does the job for most things. Fashionable it may not be, but then I've never been that, or even attempted to be so, and I'm quite proud of it!

I've totally digressed off the plot, so to summarise, I don't like the new Tesco, but that's just me, as Tesco stores go it's quite a nice place for people who like that sort of thing. Probably. If I'm trying to find something positive to say, I see it's got a proper cafe so that's one good thing. It was an absolute travesty when the old store did away with their cafe and replaced it with a Costa. Supermarket cafes should be cheap and cheerful, not coffee shops. There's enough of them on the high street as it is.

Oh, and I got a free bag for my troubles and there was some free cheese to try on the deli so it wasn't all bad. There you go look, balanced journalism from yours truly, with not a hint of bias...

The cafe was advertising a fry up at £3.99 but none will ever be as good as the old Asda 8 items for £2 breakfast that they used to do. I used to have 4 rashers of bacon and 4 sausages. Happy days!

Jason





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