Sunday, 27 May 2012
Why can't we win Eurovision?
So - another poor performance at Eurovision - and out will come no doubt the usual predictable comments about how the rest of Europe hates us, Balkan block voting, how it's a bad draw going first and all the rest of it.
You know what - these excuses are spurious at best, the fact is, we just don't have a clue when it comes to putting an entry in. What the younger, more forward thinking countries in Europe do is put forward a song that's going to appeal to the masses, particularly the young, who are the ones picking up the phone dialling in greater numbers.
No matter how much of a hero our great "Hump" may be to us, regardless of where he sang in the order, do you really think he would have been of any interest to some young clued up 20 year old in Russia or somewhere? You may laugh at some of the acts tonight, but really, I can imagine most of these viewers over in the Eastern Bloc thinking "Who's this old ****?"
No disrespect to you Engelbert - you were number 1 before I was even born and I'm no spring chicken. But quite frankly you weren't the right man for the job - it's not your fault, whoever thought you were was clearly bonkers.
No - it's not ageist - yes, the Russian grannies did well, but they had novelty value. So where are we going wrong?
Where did we go wrong? Quite simply we picked someone who would appeal to the UK - not to the world, well Europe at least.
I think rather than lurching from one desperate ploy to another why not bring back the old "Song for Europe" show, after all it's only a predecessor of the X Factor which seems to be quite popular. Even better, make the X Factor winner do it, they seem to do quite well with their Christmas Number Ones. Write it into the show that they have to do Eurovision also. Well it would extend their manufactured careers by a few months.
Or what else? Well look at who's won? Nothing like the tacky shit we put out - look at Daz Sampson, Scooch, Jemini etc the list goes on. The rest of Europe does not hate us - we just put entries in that no-one wants to vote for!
I'm surprised we got any points at all tonight to be honest.
But I had a huge laugh watching with Claire - and chatting back and forth with Jo on her status with our observations. If you are friends with Jo, go and read her status - quality stuff.
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